Blue Attack! (iPhone, 2009)

A few months back a guy named John Kooistra released a simple, yet well developed shooter on the App Store called Blue Defense!. The game consisted of the player defending a blue planet from incoming red missiles and space ships. The sole control mechanism was the accelerometer, and the game was devoid of sound. Never the less, the title was effective, affordable, and a lot of fun. Players latched on to its pick up and play presentation, as well as it's crisp, clean graphical style. The one dollar price tag didn't hurt either.


Just this month a sequel was released titled Blue Attack!. Set in apparently the same universe, Attack! once more engages the player in savage combat with the red guys, only this time, we're playing offense.

The game is a two dimensional, directional shooter. While this type of game is a common thing nowadays (especially on the App store), Kooistra's approach in Attack! is such that the game stands out with undeniable distinction.

The game grants the player a lot of freedom. As you destroy enemies, you earn "loot" which can be used to purchase upgrades and new weapons for your ship. You can also tack on additional wing mates (up to eight ships identical to yours, but smaller in size) that will fly along with you and shoot at whatever you're shooting at. You can even change their formation, causing them to fly behind you as a chevron, or a long, snaking tail.




The game offers two control options (a rare thing in iPhone games), allowing you to manipulate your ship using either the touch screen or the accelerometer. Shooting happens automatically, and your ammo is infinite, allowing you to focus all your attention on piloting your ship. This is a good thing, because you'll be plenty busy doing it. The accelerometer can be calibrated at leisure, allowing the player to sit up straight, recline, or even lay flat on their back without having the controls go all wonky (a common problem in games of this type).

Like Defense!, Attack!'s graphics are nothing short of pretty. Developers seem constantly striving to make the iPhone's hardware capabilities work for them, and Kooistra has done an excellent job of developing an art style and presentation that works, both for his games, and for the iPhone itself.

Attack! also offers two gameplay modes - Campaign, and Infinite. Campaign tasks the player with completing several increasingly challenging levels in succession, until a final confrontation with the boss (I still can't beat it). Infinite is exactly what you think it is - you keep playing until you're out of lives, and rack up as many points as you can.

For an iPhone game, Blue Attack! offers a lot of depth and replayability. The graphics, sound, and controls are executed to near perfection, and there's fun to be had by anyone willing to shell out the $1.99 it'll take to add this title to your library. It's well worth it, and I wouldn't be surprised if we see a port popping up on the Xbox Live Arcade sometime in the next couple years (Okay, maybe this is a little unlikely. But I can dream.)


You know it's a good day when somebody says this to you.

Repo! The Genetic Opera

“Everybody make genetics your bitch!”

I’ve already reviewed the soundtrack, and now I’m here to review the movie.

Much like other things I find myself reviewing, this is not high-class, award-winning cinema. This is a musical, a rock opera to be more specific, that takes place in the future and involves organ repossession, a drug called Zydrate (which comes in a little glass vial. A little glass vial? A little glass vial!), and has a scene in which Paris Hilton’s face comes off.

Yes, Paris Hilton is in this. But I’m getting ahead of myself here.

In the year 2056, organ failure has become an epidemic. GeneCo, the company run by Rotti Largo, offers replacement organs to the masses, but there’s a catch: if you miss a payment on that new heart or that kidney transplant you got, then GeneCo sends out the Repo man to repossess that shiny new organ with the barcode on it. And, well, the Repo man is going to be pretty violent about the whole thing, too. This isn’t like waking up in a bathtub with your kidneys missing, no. Chances are you won’t wake up at all. So, it’s a rock opera about ripping out people’s organs in the future! How awesome is that?

“And what if you could have genetic perfection? Would you change who you are, if you could? Because it‘s quick! It‘s clean! It‘s pure! It could change your life, rest assured! It's the 21st century cure!”

That’s kind of a problem. They came up with a fucking awesome concept here, but the realization and execution isn’t quite what it could be. The plot itself actually revolves less around the ripping and tearing of organs and has more to do with um, family drama. You have Shilo, the 17-year-old girl who is confined to her room due to an unexplained disease that had killed her mother. Her father, Nathan Wallace, is the lead Repo man for GeneCo, unbeknownst to his daughter of course. And then there’s Rotti Largo, head of GeneCo, and his three kids: Amber Sweet, played by Paris Hilton, a bitch with a love of surgery and addiction to Zydrate, Pavi, the narcissist who likes wearing the faces of women, and Luigi, a man with one hell of a temper. Rotti is dying, and the three siblings squabble over who will be inheriting GeneCo when the old man bites the dust. Oh, and then there’s the opera itself, who’s lead act is Blind Mag, played by Sarah Brightman.

It’s…actually a bit of a mess, really. It’s nothing too difficult to follow, but the story does flounder quite a bit. I have to place the blame on poor character development for one thing, especially the plot bits that involve Blind Mag. She plays a huge role, but has so little screen time or anything that it doesn’t hit quite as hard as it should when shit hits the fan. The ending also leaves a bit to be desired…

Also, Luigi and Pavi needed a hell of a lot more screen time too. Sure, they didn’t play much of a part in the plot, but they were incredibly entertaining and I really wanted to see more of them. I wanted more of the Grave Robber, too. But no, most of the movie revolves around Shilo as she escapes her room, bickers with her dad, and interacts with other characters, and well, she kind of annoyed me. But that’s just my opinion, some of you might connect with her and love her, but I didn’t like her much.

I know it sounds like I’m really trashing this movie, and while it is pretty flawed as far as the story goes, I was still thoroughly entertained. There’s not a whole lot of humor in it, but when there is, it’s very dark humor, and bloody hilarious too. Did I mention you watch Paris Hilton’s face come off? Yes! Also, the presentation and cinematography are excellent. This futuristic city is realized excellently, to such a degree that I wish they’d come out with one of those encyclopedias that explains everything from the architecture to the fashion to other things like the little communicator bracelets. You know, like those huge books for the Star Wars universe? I want one for the Repo universe, it’s that visually awesome.

And well, you’ve seen my review of the soundtrack, and seeing the action with the songs makes them more endearing. Not a day goes by where I don’t wind up with at least two or three songs getting stuck in my head at some point or another. It’s damn catchy.

So, do you like rock music? Opera? Ultraviolence? Crazy goth fashion? Are you willing to ignore bad story flaws? If so, then check this movie out, it’ll certainly leave an imprint on your brain, visually or sonically.

“He won’t bother to write or phone you, he’ll just rip the still beating heart from your chest! REPO MAN!!”

[Brett]

RE-view?

This started with a simple question about referring movies, would you see it again? Thinking about it more I realized it would work better on a scale of 1 to 10. This will be a quick way to put up short reviews of movies. 6 through 10 will be yes I would see it again and 1 through 5 will be know. 

A quick key

10- Yes, excellent movie, I would see it again and definitly buy the DVD.

9-Yes I would probably see it in the theatre again and definitly (at least) rent the DVD

8- Yes I would rent the DVD maybe eventually buy it

7- Yes I would rent it

6- Yes I would watch it when it comes on TV

5- No, I might watch it if a sequel comes out

4- No, Maybe if with friends are watching it

3- No, I don't regret it, but would not watch it again

2- No, I wish I hadn't spent money for it in the theatres

1- No, I wish I had never seen it

Now a selection of movies. Feel free to post your opinions in a comment below, skip or put a 0 if you haven't seen it.

Serenity - 10, excellent movie (the TV show was excellent as well) and worth many many repeat viewings

The Spirit- 8, It was a fun movie and worth seeing again although not in the theater

Yes, Man- 9, Seen it twice already and loved it

Green Arrow: Quiver

Written by Kevin Smith
Pencils by Phil Hester
Colors by Guy Major



For as well-rounded a nerd as I profess myself to be, I've never had the chance or drive to plunge myself into the world of superhero comics. Sure, I can name more superheroes than most people forget, but I'm not intimately familiar with the goings-on of the Justice League or what the Avengers are doing these days. With that, I can understand the expressions the comicos out there must be giving me, thinking to themselves, "He chose to dive into the DC Universe with Quiver?!" or similar. And while the ten-issue Green Arrow arc is deeply nestled in the intertwining brambles of the DC thicket, it's worth going in there to investigate.

WARNING: TOTAL SPOILERS DO NOT READ IF YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW ABOUT THIS SHIT AND WOULD RATHER GO ALL THE WAY BACK TO LIKE CRISIS AND READ FORWARD FROM THERE

Quiver tells the story of Oliver Queen a.k.a. the Green Arrow, picking up after the events of an arc called The Longbow Hunters. I don't know what that is, but it involves the Emerald Archer's untimely demise. His subsequent resurrection has everyone he meets spooked, and he can't remember the last ten years of his life. Needless to say, this gets really, really confusing, really fast. Newbies that can't stand people referring to things like the Speed Force and Crisis and Doomsday and generally anything not brought up in the tome proper, beware: self-contained it's not.

The reason I didn't care about this particular hangup—or all the asterisks pointing me to check out Justice League Files #12-15 or Batman: Poison Tomorrow—is because everything about this comic is amazing. It's hard not to like Ollie Queen's hero banter, which alternates between sarcastic quips about costume choices and heartfelt accusations of fascism. He's a likeable guy, and it might be easier to relate to him for DC initiates. Just like Queen, you'll often be wondering just what the hell is going on, but if you like anything at all about the book, you'll roll with the punches.

And oh, the writer: Kevin Smith, legendary film director and a demigod to American nerds, provides the story and dialogue, which is a particular treat in addition to the lovely stylized art by Phil Hester. Smith's lifelong comic book fanaticism enables him to write a story about characters he loves while keeping the mythos of the DCU intact—a fanfic this ain't. All that love and knowledge shows through in a narrative that strikes that signature Kevin Smith, View Askewniverse balance between complete slapstick hilarity and insightful commentary.

END SPOILERS I GUESS

So, bottom line: if you're a comico, especially an Arrow-head and don't have this yet, you owe it to yourself to invest in it. If you're a newbie to the DC Universe, you might want to read a bit more about the preceding events before diving into Quiver. If you're a newbie but you don't mind being confuddled for a while as long as the story and art are good, you have to give it a shot. Regardless, if you think you're ready for it, you will probably enjoy this comic. Here's to my first foray into the world of the Justice League!

The Titanic Toho Trifecta

It's no secret that I'm a fan of giant monster movies. Give me a guy in a rubber suit stomping cardboard buildings over CGI what-have-you any day.




The undisputed champions of the Daikaiju genre, Toho Co. LTD, are most widely known for creating the Godzilla franchise, a series which has lasted for over fifty years, and boasts twenty nine feature films to date. Whether you've seen the movies or not, just about everyone has heard the name, “Godzilla”. I could go on for several paragraphs, talking about how innovative the films are, and leak all kinds of gooey fanboy trivia all over the floor, but that wouldn't be polite.

Godzilla is indisputably Toho's most popular franchise, but several other giant monsters have been churned out by studio over the last five decades. Rodan, Mothra, and King Ghidorah are nearly as recognizable as Godzilla, having been featured in many of the movies and spin offs that have made the King of The Monsters famous, but they make up only a small fraction of Toho's stable of rubber suit-powered juggernauts. I watched three of the more obscure films this week, and now you get to read about 'em.



1. The Mysterians – 1957: The Mysterians is your typical 60's-style alien invasion flick. A tokusatsu film in the truest sense, much of the screen time is alloted to the elaborate miniature dioramas which are a hallmark of the genre. The plot is fairly straight forward: Aliens, seeking refuge from their used-up planet, take up residence on earth. The Mysterians are a strange looking lot, clad in dayglo capes and crazy motorcycle helmets. Their request is a simple one. A small plot of land where they can park their mothership, and permission to mate with earth's women. In my opinion this is a reasonable request, but the earthlings will have none of it, and immediately declare war on the technologically superior Mysterians. Seems to me like they could have negotiated a bit longer before they started launching firecracker-rockets, but then we wouldn't have much of a movie. The Mysterians really isn't a giant monster film, as the only monster to be seen is a robot controlled by the Mysterians called Mogera. He only gets a few minutes of screen time, but it's a fun movie, and the special effects are great.

FACT: Mogera wasn't seen on screen again until Godzilla vs. Space Godzilla, which was released in 1994. He was given an updated design, and renamed MOGUERA, which is an acronym for Mobile Operation Godzilla Universal Expert Robot Aero-Type. No really. That's what it stands for.



2. Dogora – 1964: Dogora is an interesting film, and an original one at that. This movie relies more heavily on plot than most films in the genre. I've heard it called, “A mystery movie with a giant monster at the center, not a really giant monster film” but I tend to disagree. The film is indeed a giant monster movie, and while the titular creature doesn't get as much screen time as one might think he should, his appearances are pretty spectacular. Dogora is a single-cell space life form, mutated by the atomic radiation in the atmosphere above Japan (!?!?!). He grows into a crazy jellyfish looking thing, and starts flying around the world, eating coal, stealing diamonds, and dropping multicolored boulders on populated areas that look like they belong in a fish tank. Unfortunately, much of the screen time is devoted to a band of diamond thieves trying to pull of a major heist, and their token good-guy counterparts. Dogora himself takes a back seat to the mystery and intrigue, which aren't all that interesting in and of themselves. Nevertheless, this is a good movie, with some pretty decent special effects. Images of Dogora appearing in a blue-and-green cloud over Japan are nothing short of doomsday-awesome (think Hellboy 1), and the shots of him flying (likely created by submerging a marionette in a tank of water) look great. Worth watching if you're into this sort of thing, but by no means one of the best in the genre.


FACT: Robert Dunham, who portrays the character Mark Jackson in this film, also played Antonio, the emperor of Seatopia in Godzilla vs. Megalon. A professional stunt driver, Dunham also lent his talents to the frequent car chase scenes in Megalon, and decades later, became a contributing writer for Car and Driver.



3.Yog – Monster from Space/Space Amoeba – 1970: This was the first such film released by Toho after the death of special effects master, Eiji Tsuburaya. It is known by multiple titles, though the two listed here are the most common. I won't spend too much time commenting on the plot, because that's not what you're here for, but suffice to say it involves aliens. Again. The special effects in this one are just awesome, and monster screen time is generous. The monsters in this one have been scaled down as well – they're only about twenty to thirty meters, which makes their interactions with the human characters more compelling. This movie features three Kaiju: Gezora, the squid, Ganime, the crab, and Kameoba, the turtle. There are some fantastic scenes in which the humans, stranded on a small pacific island with the three giants, take the antagonistic beasts on using guns and gasoline, salvaged from a derelict WW2 munition dump. There are of course the stereotypical natives who fear and worship one of the monsters, believing it to be some sort of angry god, and a corporation that wants to exploit the island for it's own benefit. While this movie may not be very original, particularly to fans of the genre (the prayer song sung by the natives sounds suspiciously like the one used in King Kong vs. Godzilla), it is a lot of fun, with plenty of action and eye candy to keep you interested throughout it's hour and a half. Well worth the twenty or so dollars you'll pay for it on eBay.


FACT: This is the only movie ever to feature Gezora and Ganime, but Kameoba does make a brief cameo appearance in Godzilla: Tokyo SOS (2003). He is discovered dead, washed up on a beach, with a horrendous gash in his neck. It is implied that the creature was killed by Godzilla. One character also alludes to this Kameoba being a prehistoric survivor, which indicates that any connection to the original monster's appearance has been severed (the original was a regular turtle mutated by the alien)

Gran Torino

Walt Kawalski (Clint Eastwood) is a war-hardened, bitter old man living in an old Detroit suburb, which is slowly being overrun by a variety of immigrants. The majority of those immigrants are Hmong, an ethnicity that encompasses certain Chinese, Vietnamese, and Laotian peoples. Walt is a veteran of the Korean War, rendering his previous interactions with Asians not exactly positive. Walt’s wife has passed away at the beginning of the film and his children and their families arrive to mourn with him. Walt is extremely disappointed in everything he sees of his family, often grunting in displeasure to himself. Father Janovich, Mrs. Kawalski’s priest, approaches Walt after the proceedings, informing him that she made the Reverend promise to get Walt into Confession. Walt, uninterested in the church, tells him that he knows nothing about life and death, and sends him away.

One of Walt’s Hmong young neighbors, Thao, is being viciously bullied by a racist Asian gang in the neighborhood, and they convince him to join their ranks. His initiation is to steal Walt’s beloved 1972 Ford Gran Torino (the film’s namesake), something Walt doesn’t take to kindly to. He prevents the theft, and sends Thao packing. The gang returns to harass Thao at home, but Walt comes by with his M1 Garand, uttering “Get off my lawn”, and the gang hightails it out of there. Walt is seen as the hero of the neighborhood, and the Hmong people begin showering him with food and foliage, another thing Walt doesn’t appreciate. Soon though, Walt starts to warm up to his neighbors, and begins protecting them from various groups of less than savory people.


I went into this movie very excited. I had the highest expectations for it. Everything I heard from other reviews, from the trailer, from people I knew told me that this movie would be a cut above the rest. And I wasn’t disappointed.

This American drama rocks in all aspects. Clint Eastwood plays the part of the most badass 72 year old action hero in cinema, and Eastwood’s writing and directing are superb.

The tone in the first two acts of the film is largely comedic. There’s just something about watching an old crotchety white man refer to varying ethnic groups by some of the worse names imaginable that’s incredibly funny. And the name calling isn’t reserved for the Asians. Being an Italian, I can inform you that Walt refers to his barber as an “old Italian prick” and a “cheap doo-wop dago.”. His bartender returns in kind with “pollock sonova bitch” in some good friendly ribbing.

The final act, and the foreshadowing that leads to it, is phenomenal. I can’t really tell you everything that was good about the end without giving it up. Suffice it to say that it was powerful, and one of the most meaningful movies I have seen in a while.

Final verdict? See it in the theatre very soon. These kinds of movie don’t impact you the same way on DVD, I’ve noticed. It’s touching, it’s funny, it’s emotional, I even nearly cried at one point. If there was a star rating system here at Hindsight Alloys, and it was out of five stars, I’d do something ridiculous and give it five and a half stars.

Abbreviewations: 2 movies, a book, an album, and a game!

Steamboy: Katsuhiro Otomo is the madman responsible for that which is considered the epitome of feature-length Japanese anime, Akira, the movie which is also pretty much responsible for introducing Japanese animation to American audiences. And after it’s release, things just got quiet. Why? Because Otomo was working on this. It’s not quite what you would expect a successor to Akira to be, and it’s not as deranged or ultraviolent, but it is still, in its own way, quite the masterpiece.

As you can gather from the title, this movie revolves around steam-powered technology. It is pure steampunk! Our movie’s hero is the young boy Ray in the year 1866, whose father and grandfather are scientists who have invented the Steam Ball, a sort of perpetual energy machine that is, you guessed it, steam-powered. Somehow. And when you create something like that, you just KNOW someone’s gonna want to use it for nefarious purposes, and someone’s gonna oppose it’s creation, and well, you can kind of see where the plot is going with this. The plot’s a bit weak, but the movie has lots of eye candy to make up for it, especially towards the movie’s climax as a huge battle breaks out during the London Expo. WITH STEAM TROOPERS. Seriously, that’s what they call them! And steam-powered jetpacks, giant mechanical arms, and more!

Like I said, not quite what one would expect from the creator of Akira, but it’s still certainly worth watching.


Blade II: I have never seen any of the Blade movies before, nor am I familiar with the comics. So what, pray tell, was I doing watching this? Well, it was directed by Guillermo del Toro, you know, the awesome director of the equally awesome Hellboy films, Pan’s Labyrinth, and the Devil’s Backbone? Yeah, that guy. That’s why I watched it.

It is just a straight-up fun popcorn-munching action flick. It’s not high-class cinema, not meant to be taken too seriously. The plot, involving a new breed of vampires with face-hugger-style mouths that drink both human AND vampire blood, is weak and not all too interesting, but the action is pretty great. I especially love how, when shot or stabbed by Blade’s weapons, the vampires are just INCINERATED. They explode into ashes, and it’s just so damn pretty.

Plus it has Ron Perlman (Hellboy himself!) as a vampire. Sure, he doesn’t do a whole lot, but man, it’s Ron fucking Perlman.


Dune, by Frank Herbert: IT’S DUNE. READ IT. I mean, okay, I have one complaint, and that’s that Feyd Rautha didn’t get to do much of anything and I didn’t really see what purpose his character served to the overall plot of the thing, BUT DAMMIT YOU SHOULD READ IT ANYWAYS BECAUSE IT’S DUNE.

(You can tell we're all a bit in love with Dune around here, can't you?)


Repo! The Genetic Opera soundtrack: I haven’t seen the movie (which comes out this month) or the stage show, but Repo is, well, a rock opera of sorts, taking place in the future, when organ failure is common. The company known as Geneco deals in the organ transplant business, but if you miss your payments? Then they send out the Repo-man to get the company’s organs back. Sweet, huh? Ultraviolent sci fi!

You really only get a very loose idea of the plot from this 22-song sountrack, but you shouldn’t let such a thing get in the way of enjoying the music. Being 22 songs in length, none of them reach the 4-minute mark, and there are a few duds but when it works, it works. It’s not all rock, and it’s not all opera, but this isn’t something like, say, Rocky Horror. The music is industrial, dark, but not without its catchy moments or sense of humor. When I first got it, I listened to it on repeat quite a bit, I was addicted, but now that I’ve eased back from it a bit, it’s not quite as epic as I first thought, but it’s still quite good.

Oh, and Paris Hilton is in it, but she’s not nearly as horrible as you might expect. But still, it’s Paris Hilton, meh.


Endless Ocean: It’s a Wii game in which you are a scuba diver, exploring the waters off the coast of the fictional island of Manoa Lai. You have no weapons or attacks, you can’t hurt anything and nothing can hurt you. All you do is explore, pick up artifacts, and interact with fish to learn Discovery Channel-style facts about them. It sounds terrible, but it’s really more fun than it has any right to be and is the most relaxing game I have ever played. For a Wii title, the graphics are great, and while the music provided is nice and soothing, you can put some mp3 files on an SD card to listen to while playing. Unfortunately, it just takes what song you pick and plays it on repeat while you’re diving until you go back to your boat and change it, so it’s best to pick a lengthy song that you don’t mind having a loop to it. I personally go for several Metroid Prime 2 tracks, for some reason.

If you’re bored with shooting things and solving elaborate puzzles and other typical, videogame things, do check this one out.

[Brett]

21 Grams

Directed by: Alejandro González Iñárritu
Starring: Sean Penn, Naomi Watts, Benicio del Toro

If you were fourteen when this movie came out and as such were more interested in Rogue Leader and the strange lumps growing out of the chests of your female friends like I was, chances are it slipped under your radar. And that's understandable. But you're, like, twenty now. You probably shave semi-regularly and go to the frat to hang out with coeds every day. And you need to see this movie.

First off, 21 Grams is not a movie about drugs. They have a supporting role, but the title doesn't mean 21 Grams of grass, seventy-five pellets of mescaline, five sheets of high-powered blotter acid, a saltshaker half-full of cocaine, and a whole galaxy of multi-colored uppers, downers, screamers, laughers... Also, a quart of tequila, a quart of rum, a case of beer, a pint of raw ether, and two dozen amyls. Just in case you were thinking that.

The movie tells the stories of three people who are forever changed by one event, as well as the effects the change has on everyone close to them. The event is a car accident, and never before has a movie so brilliantly explored the connections which are broken, as well as formed, at the brutal epicenter of such an event. The overarching theme of the movie is that one moment, one decision, one person, can destroy lives, create new ones, mend broken ones. It is a beautiful and moving film that succeeds on every level a drama should, especially one of this intensity. The title comes from the theory that, upon death, the body loses twenty-one grams—the apparent weight of a person's departing soul.

I've never heard of Sr. Iñárritu before, but his direction in this piece is masterful. Hopping between different periods in the lives of three main characters, what starts out as a fairly chaotic and confusing collection of shots eventually coalesces into a concrete whole that gives closure and a modicum of peace of mind. The camera work is almost if not entirely handheld, creating a very intimate feel. All in all, it's just a damn good piece of cinema.

Watts, Penn, del Toro...all fantastic actors, in a fantastic movie. They're broken, they're real, they're human. Emotion flows from them like a river. A river of emotion. Do I really need to sell this any more?

This film has won a cavalcade of awards for Best Everything, and for once I agree with the Academy: the actors, the writing, the direction, everything comes together in one of those rare movies that reminds us of who we are, and that that person is imperfect, possibly even broken— but still capable of feeling something, still human. If you don't believe me, just check it out. You might be suprised by what's in your twenty-one grams.

Greetings

I am starting off by introducing myself to those of you who do not know me. As the blog notes my name is Eddie Wolchick, I am a bookworm and gamer as most (if not all) of the other authors are. My primary game addiction at this point is World of Warcraft(WoW) which is where part of my name comes from (although I think I originally used it years ago in nEverQuest) and the other part shows one of the things I am a big fan of (if you can't figure out what, then shame on you and what are you doing reading this blog?).

My current photo is actually of my main WoW character-Mikal. I will probably switch it to a pic of Dralfir before too long. Do not wory because I will aim to keep my WoW posts to a minimum. I plan to post one review of my thoughts and opinions of the game and expansions and there is one other post I might put up that will be very heavy in WoW references but not about WoW. I might in the future post abbreviewations (i think that is how Aaronus spelled it) about big patches but aside from that I will aim to focus on other stuff.

I sometimes do not get around to finishing games but I would like to post my thoughts on what I have played, to that end I plan to post Partial Reviews or (P)Reviews as I plan to label them. I might have more to say later but that is all I have for now.

Well apparently I am completly braindead from work today, one of the key things I meant to mention before I posted it a few minutes ago popped into my mind. I am a writer, I am working on what I plan to be a seven book series (although I am moving slowly at it). I have some ideas for some fiction based posts series and such, but I will wait till later to tell more about those (unless they fall apart before starting).

Paul of Dune (2008, Brian Herbert and Kevin J. Anderson)

(WARNING: this review contains spoilers, concerning both the titular novel, and other novels in the same series. If you are in the process of reading any of them or plan to do so in the future, you may want to avoid this article until you’ve finished the books.)





Frank Herbert's untimely death not only signified a great loss to both the literary and science fiction communities, it also left a vacuum in the Dune universe. Two trilogies were completed before the old master passed away, but even so, many loose ends and unanswered questions were left in his wake.

Decades later, Brian Herbert and Kevin J Anderson took maker hooks in hand and expanded upon the rich, intriguing universe of Frank Herbert's masterpiece. Allegedly, Frank left behind box upon box of notes, story outlines, and rough drafts that Anderson and B. Herbert used to draw inspiration from.

For the purpose of this review, and to avoid confusion, references to titles written by Frank Herbert will be followed by (FH). Titles written by Brian Herbert and Kevin J. Anderson will be followed by (BK).

Eight books and several questionable canonical additions later (Duke Leto had a son before Paul? Gaius Helen Mohaim as Jessica's mother? The Baron Harkonnen is fat because of an STD?), their entries can arguably be called decent books, but poor additions to the life, history and surroundings of Muad'dib.

And now, after penning the chronicle of the Butlerian Jihad, the years preceding Paul's birth, and the events which follow the conclusion of the Bene Gesserit’s war with the Honored Matres, Anderson and Herbert have returned to visit upon us yet another tale, arguably non-canonical, concerning the House Atriedes. The book is called Paul of Dune, and concerns the titular hero which many Dune fans know and love so well.

May your blade chip and shatter.

The story takes place in two separate timeframes – between the Prelude to Dune trilogy (BK) and Dune (FH), and between Dune (FH) and Dune Messiah (FH). The narrative jumps back and forth between young Paul on Caladan, and older Paul on Arrakis.

We see House Atriedes embroiled in a War of Assassins alongside their allies, House Ecaz. Paul, Leto, Gurney Halleck and Duncan Idaho are all placed in repeated peril, and using their strengths, wits and intuition, they overcome challenge after challenge, until the triumphant victory at the end of the book.

The second story plays out in much the same way. It deals with Paul's consolidation of the Imperium after his defeat of Shaddam Corrino IV at the Battle of Arakeen, and details many of the logistical obstacles one might expect to encounter after such an usurpation. Certain aspects of both these stories work rather well, and are enjoyable to see play out in the book.

Assassination attempts made on Paul's life by the enemy in both tales seem like feasible, realistic events, but the nature of said attempts is so outlandish, it makes the reader wonder just what exactly the authors were thinking. In one particular scene, as Paul Muad'dib holds court in his newly constructed citadel, small embossed circles on the wall open, and from them swarm hundreds upon hundreds of hunter-seekers. Then a bomb goes off under the throne.

This is not only as ridiculous and grandiose as it sounds, but it just doesn't work. The security surrounding Paul during and after his victory at Arakeen would have been extreme, and that's to say the least. The fanaticism of his Fedaykin guards is not downplayed in the novels, and even in this book we see the fervor with which they serve and protect him. The idea that someone – even the person described in the book – could smuggle, plant, and activate the implementations of such a flamboyant attempt on Paul's life seems ridiculous.

There are other instances which don't seem to fit, such as a Tleilaxu master's confession to Count Hasimir Fenring, "we have our own Kwisatz Haderach." Tleilaxu secrecy is a hallmark of Herbert's original novels, to such a degree that even the reader doesn't know all their secrets until the final installments of the series. For a Tleilaxu master to simply say, "oh yeah we have on of those super-human deals who can see the future, sure." is even more ridiculous than the aforementioned hunter seeker swarm, and the offhanded nature in which the remark is made is nothing short of infuriating.

It is instances like this that ruin what is otherwise a decent story. Seeing Stilgar lead assaults on rebel worlds during the Jihad, including the capture of Kaitain, is an interesting affair. As is Princess Irulan's appointment as Paul's historian and scribe. We also finally meet the child of Lady Margot Fenring and Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen.

While many fans might consider these details interesting, the ideas in the novel suffer on two painful accounts.

The first, and most obvious, is the presentation. Frank Herbert had a very distinctive way of writing. It can be, at times, difficult to understand, but it works in the context of Dune. His descriptions are vague so as to let the reader construct their own image of Herbert's idea, while including enough important details that the reader still sees what the author wants them to see.

These new books are different. Everything is described with too much detail, and the result is a shallow and artificial feeling product that bears some strange need to explain itself, or something. This would be a complaint not worth mentioning, if only said descriptions were better. The wording is often so elementary that the books read like juvenile fiction (ala Twilight and Harry Potter) as opposed to follow-ups to one of the greatest science fiction masterpieces ever to see the light of day.

The second – and this is a personal gripe – is that these are not details that we need. I already know what Paul did between Dune (FH) and Messiah (FH): He was the emperor of the known universe. I don't CARE about Stilgar learning to swim before leading assaults on aquatic worlds. That fact is a given, and I don't need it explained to me.

Over all, Paul of Dune is a decent book in it's own right, but fans of the original series will likely consider it a lackluster entry into the universe. The tome is weighed down by far too many ridiculous and unnecessary elements, like war horses (real, living, breathing horses) which are "driven" by electronic control panels, apparently wired into their brains. Why they can't just ride the horse is beyond me. If it weren't for this and other absurdities, Paul of Dune would likely garnish more respect from the Dune fan base, and the liberties taken by Bryan and Kevin in Frank Herbert's absence would be far more forgivable.







I hate to leave the universe of my favorite book on such a sour note. Keep your eyes open for the follow-up to this review, which will be an overview of Dune as a series.

"The Anubis Gates" by Tim Powers

With the exception of a little movie called Primer, I am normally not a fan of time travel. Or stories that use Egyptian mythology. It feels so cliché in the science fiction genre. And yet, here I am writing a review for a book written by Tim Powers called the Anubis Gates, which involves both time travel AND Egyptian mythology, but yet DOESN’T suck.

It’s a testament to my girlfriend’s awesome tastes in things. We weren’t dating yet (that would be days later) when I was standing in her apartment, looking at her book collection, and she pulled it out and shoved it in my hands. Her words to me were, “it’s an awesome book and no one else I know has read it.” I admit, I was reluctant, especially since I was at the time about halfway through Dune, which, at the time of this writing, I STILL haven’t finished yet. I know, I know…

Anyways. Don’t let the title fool you, the majority of this book takes place in London in the year 1810. Why? Well, that’s where the time travel kind of kicks in. Our main protagonist is Brendan Doyle, a professor who is hired by an aging millionaire named Darrow. Darrow has discovered these “gates,” open in certain places at certain times, following a pattern through human history, and has also discovered that one can use these gates to travel back in time to specific dates. He and a number of other wealthy entrepreneurs plan on jumping back to 1810 to see a lecture given by a famous poet, with Doyle tagging along as a sort of poetry expert.

The time travel itself goes rather smoothly. They never really explain how it works, which is for the better because even if they did, it still probably wouldn‘t make sense to me. Normally in this genre, time travel leads to horrible things happening and paradoxes and things, but not so much here. It’s just the method of how Doyle gets misplaced in the 19th century and not much else. After the lecture, Doyle is kidnapped by a band of gypsies while the rest of the gang he was with manages to get back to the gate and escape back to modern day.

And things just get crazier and crazier from there.

Sorcery is heavily used in the book, and it too is not your typical spell-casting fantasy crap. An interesting touch is that the two primary villains of the book, Doctor Romany and Horrabin the clown, cannot touch the ground due to the nature of the sorcery they use. Horrabin is always on stilts because of this, and also because of horrible mutilations inflicted upon him by his father, while Doctor Romany uses spring-soled shoes. There’s another character who factors into the book, a body-swapping werewolf named Dog-Faced Joe. No, I am not kidding: a body-swapping werewolf. And a “ka,” or copy, of Lord Byron. You know, the poet. Did I mention how unique this book is?

The story is also surprisingly unpredictable. Things never go quite as planned, so you’re never sure what to expect will happen next. Doyle has both the best and worst luck of anyone in the book, and it’s surprising just how many insane things happen to the man.

It’s not the lengthiest read, and while some of the action sequences are great, others are a bit vague and hard to follow, and the very opening of the book, a sort of prologue, was incredibly hard for me to get through, but once the first chapter starts up, the book picks up and moves at a smooth pace, leaving few if any loose ends by its conclusion.

I have no idea if the book is still in print, as my borrowed copy was apparently picked up for a dollar at a used bookstore, so you might have to do some digging for it, but trust me, it’s a fun and awesome read.

Now, to go finish Dune…

[Brett]

Recommended Reading (sort of)

These aren't reviews - just a quick list of things I've enjoyed recently that I think you might, too.

1. Sphere (1998): This sci-fi thriller, based on Michael Chrichton's novel stars Dustin Hoffman, Sharon Stone and Samuel L. Jackson. When an ancient, derelict spacecraft is discovered on the ocean floor, a team of scientists is dispatched to investigate. The concept is fairly straight forward, but the plot is rife with twists and surprises that will keep you guessing. Well worth watching, and I picked it up for only five dollars at Wal-mart.


2. Ringworld (1972, Larry Niven): Without this novel it's likely that Halo never would have seen the light of day, at the very least not in it's present form. Larry Niven rams the reader with a combination of hard science fiction, with concepts sure to make your head spin, and couples it with an adventure story that will keep you reading until the very last page. Ringworld tells the story of the most magnificent artifact ever discovered - the Ringworld - and of a group of explorers dispatched to investigate it.


3. Snaptell (2008, iPhone): This may be the coolest iPhone app yet. If you thought song identifiers were cool (see Shazam) then this will blow your mind. The concept is simple - hold up any DVD, CD, book, or video game, and take a picture with your iPhone's camera. Snaptell then runs a quick search, and provides links to Amazon, Ebay, Google, Youtube, IMDB and more, all related to the item. I myself tried five titles - two books, one Xbox 360 game, and two DVDs - and Snaptell was able to find all of them. The practical uses for this app are limited (quick price comparisons and showing off your iPhone are the only things which come to mind), but it's just so cool to take a picture of something and have your phone go, "I know what that is." It's extremely easy to use, reliable, and it's free.


4. Mass Effect (2007, Xbox 360, PC): Now I realize, if you're the kind of person who WOULD play Mass Effect, and has the means to do so, then you probably already have, but I'm putting it on the list anyway. Developed by Bioware, the famed studio responsible for Jade Empire and the Star Wars: Knights of The Old Republic series, Mass Effect is a sci-fi story-based action RPG like no other. You're presented with a galaxy, and given the task, "explore". There is a semi-linear story which must be completed in order to "beat" the game, but one can spend hours upon hours doing nothing even remotely related to the primary campaign, exploring planet after planet in your tricked out starship, The Normandy. I won't waste too much time describing this game, as it's old news by this point, but I will say that I love Mass Effect. Put some time into playing it when you have the inclination, and I suspect you will too.


5. Facebook: I hate Myspace. I used to love it. Now I hate it. Facebook's interface may be a bit confusing, but once you get the hang of it, it becomes obvious that Myspace is the VHS of the Internet, while Facebook is undoubtedly its Bluray. Look me up. I'm in the San Antonio network. I'll write on your wall, and you can send me bumper stickers, which I'll ignore.


That's all you get this week. Go forth and consume.

Mortal Kombat vs DC Universe And More

(See the end of this post for two Abreviewations)

"DARK KAHN WINS" is still ringing in my ears after playing Mortal Kombat vs DC Universe for several hours. In the same vein as those epic Capcom vs Marvel or Capcom vs SNK fighters, MKvDCU pits the characters from the Mortal Kombat canon against those from the world of DC Comics. What ensues is actually a great deal of fun, once you get used to the combat system, and the little "minigame-esque" extras that pop up from time to time in battle.

The game has the typical modes that you'd expect in a Mortal Kombat title. There's the standard arcade mode, which I started with as soon as the disc loaded. This mode of course lets you select your character and battle the totem pole of opponents until facing the big baddy, Dark Kahn. The difficulty level isn't to high, though I did have do more than a handful of continues and character changes in order to reach the top. There's no start over penalty, and no limit on the number of continues you get. Fighters always draw me in though, and I didn't give up until I beat it.

Of course, like all fighters you get the Practice mode; but the mode to note is the Story Mode. Fortunately for us, they didn't make it some crazy RPG type thing, either. The story mode let's you pick from following the story of Raiden, God of Thunder in Mortal Kombat, and his closest foes/allies, or that of Superman and his. You then unravel the tale of how their respective Universes become intertwined. Also, Darksied and Shao Kahn warp digivolve into Dark Kahn somehow. I picked the DC side, and got to jump from character to character in roughly 9 chapters, with cut scenes and and fights abound. The dialogue was very similar to that found in a typical episode of Justice League, and the voice acting wasn't too terrible either.


Now, the fighting. It wasn't good. But it wasn't bad either. It was fun, and I think that's all that matters, really. The visuals were pleasing the eye, and some of the attacks were pretty cool looking. The fighting is occasionally interrupted by mini-games similar to quick-time events, which breaks the fighting game monotony fairly well. A little button mashing and quick reflexes and you'll be dealing heavy damage to your opponent.

I have one gripe about this game that transcends the fun I had with it. It was rated T. As in, Teenager. The developers wanted to make sure the ESRB would award them a T rating in order to appeal to a broader audience. What does this do? It ruins the whole point of Mortal Kombat title by making it less violent, less bloody, less over the top. In particular, they edited the best Fatality ever found in a Mortal Kombat game. Joker's Fatality features him pulling a gun on his opponent, only to shoot it and reveal a gag "BANG" flag. The opponent appears confused, but then the Joker pulls a second gun and blow their brains out. In the North American release, the camera rotates so the character getting shot dies off screen.



In conclusion, much like how Punisher: Warzone wasn't a good piece of cinematography by any stretch of the imagination, but was definitely a good time, such is this game. I enjoyed myself, but don't expect greatness. It's a rent, for sure. Check it out.

Abreviewations:

Fallout 3
Yes, yes, yes, yes, a thousand times yes. Pick this up. Go out to the store, and buy it immediately. The only thing keeping me from buying this title is my current financial status, and lack of free time to play this through to the end. The story is fantastic, the dialogue is superb. Nearly everything about this game pleases, especially if you are into these expansive RPG titles. Bethesda delivers again. The only problem I have with it is the combat system, which I found too difficult. I died multiple times. Also, be sure to save frequently, on different save files. You'll find yourself respawning to your last "checkpoint" with that angry mob still after you if you don't.


Gears of War 2
Developed by Epic Games and published by Microsoft, this game is also full of win, and I recommend that you buy it and play over and over again. I had so much fun playing it, and wish I could of finished the story before having to return them to the rental shop. If you liked Gears of War, you'll adore Gears of War 2. If you didn't like Gears of War, you still may like Gears of War 2. Check it out, you won't be disappointed. The graphics are something to behold, and the fun with guns is so excellently executed. Action packed story driven adventure awaits as you and Marcus Fenix take on the Locusts in this sequel to the 2006 shooter of the year.