Stalker (1979)

“There are no such thing as facts. Especially here.”

If you have a short attention span and can only watch films with tits, explosions, rapid editing, and loud music, turn away now and go read my review for Tokyo Gore Police instead. This one’s a much different beast, and yet it’s my second favorite movie of all time. Every aspect of this movie resonates with me in a way I can't explain.

Directed by Andrei Tarkovsky, the Russian director responsible for the original Solaris (you may be familiar with the remake that has George Clooney in it), Stalker is a slow, quiet, thought-provoking film released in 1979, based off of a science fiction novel entitled Roadside Picnic.

The story is deliciously simple: Three men, a writer, a professor, and the titular Stalker (who refer to each other by their professions, you never get their real names) head out to a forbidden place called the Zone, in order to find a room where it is said your innermost wish will come true. The theory is that the Zone is a place that was hit with a meteorite, and the town that used to be there was obliterated, so the government roped it off. No one lives there. The only wildlife are birds, which are mostly just heard, rarely seen. Most everyone who was sent in, including the Russian military, never came out. People just disappear.

"My dear, our world is hopelessly boring. Therefore, there can be no telepathy, or apparitions, or flying saucers, nothing like that. The world is ruled by cast-iron laws, and it's insufferably boring. Alas, those laws are never violated. They don't know how to be violated. So don't even hope for a UFO, that would've been too interesting."

It’s also an incredibly beautiful place. The beginning of the movie is filmed in black and white, through a sepia filter, adding to the grit and dirt of the Stalker’s little shack, the rundown bar they meet up in, and the grungy military checkpoints they have to sneak and rush through in order to get into the Zone. 37 minutes in, when they finally reach the Zone, the film goes full color, so you can see it in all it’s splendor. The grass is incredibly tall, with a faint mist in the distance, and rundown old buildings that have been reclaimed by nature over time. The first thing this reminded me of are two of the most beautiful videogames I've ever played: Ico and Shadow of the Colossus. Gorgeous, desolate stretches of land with not a single soul in sight. The Stalker comments that it’s the quietest place in the whole world, and one can certainly agree, as all you hear are the twittering of birds and the beautiful, haunting score of the film. It’s all shot very beautifully, lovingly, with long takes and slow camera work that let you drink in the scenery and the characters.



As beautiful as it is, the Zone is also dangerous. It constantly shifts, mutates, like a labyrinth, and you cannot make a direct path to the room. "How far away is the room?" one of the characters asks the Stalker, who knows his way around, and he responds, "straight ahead, it's about 200 meters, but we cannot go straight." At one point he explains to them that the Zone does not allow good people or evil people to pass through it, only wretched men who have lost all hope. The Zone is treated like a creature, a living place. You never get a sense of just how dangerous it is, and that's probably one of the film's only flaws, but it is beautiful beyond what words can describe. The interiors themselves are amazing, old, ruined, and you just sense that there's...something in it. You know the place is alive, you can feel that it is a character just as much as the three men who are exploring it. There are weird bits too, like a telephone that mysteriously works, in a room that inexplicably has electricity, and a scene where the Zone actually supposedly speaks to Writer.

"You’re not even capable of thinking in abstractions."

Much of the dialogue is very poetic, philosophical. It’s rather dense stuff. Writer talks about how he fears he's losing inspiration, how he thinks of his readers, how men only write when they are in doubt. He’s a cynic and a skeptic, a bit of an ass, but still completely, utterly human. There's a beautiful monologue he delivers, sitting at a well in a huge, cavernous room where the floor is covered completely in sand dunes, after he traverses through a long, dark, terrifying tunnel referred to as the “meat mincer.” All three of the characters have incredibly wonderful, private, moving moments where their emotions and ideals are laid out bare for the viewer to see, and it's heart-wrenching. These are not young, plucky guys in their 20's, all three of them are aged, weathered, beaten men, far from ignorant, but not quite intellectuals. Just as Stalker says, wretched. I think it's something that the Zone brings out in them, that makes it so easy to see right into their hearts and know what their souls are like...



Once it was over, I could only just sit, and think, and breathe. It was amazing. I’ve watched it 3 times since then, finally acquiring a DVD copy as a Christmas gift just the other day, and it still never fails to hypnotize me and leave me thinking and musing. It is admittedly a very long, slow movie (around two and a half hours), where things happen more or less in real time, with long, continuous takes, and admittedly not a whole lot happens outside of the characters traversing the landscape while talking, but that doesn’t in any way diminish the experience.

Really, if you watch it, I mean, actually watch it, and it doesn't do anything to you, if it doesn't make you feel something deep inside of you, make you think, or anything...you are not human…

The film is easily found on Google Video in its entirety (this is how I watched it the first three times), and while it’s a little compressed and the timing with the subtitles is a tad off halfway through the film, it’s still worth it. The DVD has greatly improved audio and visuals, but the print they used wasn’t in the best condition, so there are some vertical lines that are pretty clear in certain shots, colors and lighting will fade in and out, but in all honesty, it does not diminish the experience at all. This is a must-see movie, especially if you consider yourself a bit of a film snob or connoisseur. Sit back, relax, and take it in. This is a true work of art.

[Brett]

Flash: Rebirth (Series Review Thus Far)

I'm currently a student writer for one of the websites at my college. This past semester (which is ALMOST over for me) we had to write a certain amount of blog entries to be featured on the main site. We were free to write about pretty much anything we wanted, so I decided to write a little review of the comic series "Flash: Rebirth" that is ongoing right now and is being written by Geoff Johns.

Keep in mind - this is an article for a college website where I'm trying to explain "comic book logic" to an audience of teachers and other staff at my school, so if it seems weird at parts, you'll have to forgive me.

Anyways, check it out!

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Growing up, I relied on many things to escape the reality around me. I would often get home from school and play a video game for hours, just diving into the experience and taking in all it had to offer. It wasn't that I hated real life around me by any means, but to me, there was so much more that the world had to offer in other forms of entertainment.

I loved playing soccer and being outside with my friends, but if I didn't have things like video games or comics to fall back on, I don't know what I would have done.

The only reason I even say any of this is to explain where I'm coming from. Being 21 years old now and feeling more mature than I ever have in my life, I still love to kick back any time of the day in a comfy chair and just read a good comic book.

One of my favorite super heroes growing up was "The Flash". I'm sure in some way or another you've heard of him -- he was the guy who wore a red outfit with yellow lightning bolts and ran super fast. Well, in current comic book continuity, the Flash is experiencing quite the event. A series known as "The Flash: Rebirth" is taking place withing DC Comics and it's more or less a "reboot" to generate a following in the Flash again by bringing back the comic book character, Barry Allen.

So I'll get you up to speed here :
1. The first person in comics to take the name of Flash was Jay Garrick. He was a guy who wore a metal cap with wings that resembled something that one of the Roman Gods (such as Mercury) may have worn. He could run at super speeds and used his powers to fight crime and do good.
2. The second person to be use the name Flash was Barry Allen. His costume is by far the most popular and is the one you're likely familiar with. Barry was a police scientist who was struck by lightning while working on a case and gained super speed. Like Jay, he used his speed to fight crime and do good and was also friends with other heroes such as the Green Lantern, Superman, Aquaman, and so on. Barry's character was killed off in a massive storyline called "Crisis on Infinite Earths" that happened in 1985.
3. The third person to take up the name of Flash is my favorite, Wally West. Wally was originally Barry's sidekick known as "Kid Flash" and was similar to Robin in the way Robin was Batman's partner. Wally took up the mantle of the Flash after Barry passed on. I was born in 1988, so I grew up reading about Wally West as the Flash.
4. The fourth person to become the Flash is Bart Allen. Bart is actually Barry's grandson from the future (don't ask) and was actually killed while he was using the Flash mantle, yet due to time travel was able to come back from the future AGAIN and has returned as Kid Flash, sidekick to Barry and Wally.

Confused? Don't feel surprised.

Needless to say, the legacy of the hero known as the Flash is quite confusing and not very accessible to the outside world. That is whas the storyline "Flash: Rebith" was designed to solve. A writer for DC known as Geoff Johns had great success by making the Green Lantern series more simplified and accessible to all readers in a series he did called "Green Lantern: Rebirth" a few years ago, so the head decision-makers at DC thought it would be a good idea for him to "fix" the Flash series, if you will.

Basically, Flash: Rebirth is a 6-issue series that would explain how the character Barry Allen has come back to life and how he must deal with living after being dead for so long.

How did Barry come back to life? In a comic book story known as "Final Crisis" that happened in 2008, Barry returned from the future and helped Wally and many others take out a super villain known as Darkseid.

It probably seems very uninviting to the outside world, but to a comic book fan it eventually sinks in.

I actually find the series to have a great concept -- how does someone who has been thought to be dead for SO LONG all of the sudden deal with coming back to life? And someone with SUPER SPEED at that?

Much of the Flash mythology deals with how frustrating it is for someone with super speed to slow down and deal with real life situations, so having to come back to life and deal with others who thought you were dead for so long -- how could anyone handle that?

Thus far, the single issues have been great. As I said before, the writing is done by Geoff Johns and the art is done by Ethan Van Schiver.

_ _ _ _ _ _

5 of the 6 issues have hit store shelves and more or less, this is what has happened.

We know that Barry Allen, as a child, was a good hearted kid who enjoyed reading comics and spending time with his family. He returned home one day to find that his mother had been murdered, and the police conclude that Barry's father is the culprit. Barry grows up knowing that Barry's father is innocent and dedicates his life to proving this. He becomes a police scientist and gets a reputation for always being late and never leaving on time. The whole concept of a schedule could not be farther from his mind.

We see how Barry got his powers, being struck by lightning near chemicals in the police lab, and get a quick run down of the Flash legacy. As of right now, there are actually 4 living humans who go by the Flash name - Jay Garrick, Barry Allen, Wally West, and Bart Allen (with Bart being KID Flash). All of these characters, along with some other "Speedsters" work together to fight crime and basically be superheroes.

A character known as "Professor Zoom" (with his secret identity being Eobard Thawne) is the main villain in the story, and a super villain at that. I could spend pages talking about his backstory, but basically all you need to know is that he is a sick and twisted character with super speed and is bent on ruining the legacy of the Flash.

I hate to spoil the entire series thus far, but we just found out in the last issue that Zoom is the one responsible for murdering Barry's mother. In other words, Professor Zoom actually TRAVELED BACK IN TIME to murder Barry's mother because of how much he hates Barry Allen.

As issue 6 is not yet out, the story isn't done, and things are not looking good for our heroes. Wally West's son seems to have lost his super powers and Barry Allen's wife, Iris, is the next victim of Zoom. The issue ended with a disturbing panel of Zoom saying "As long as I kill Iris, everything will be alright."

I know how overwhelming and boring this must seem to someone who doesn't read comics but I can't stress enough how important this series is for the character of the Flash. I grew up reading about Wally West, but in recent years sales of the series haven't been great. With Barry Allen back, the series has a real chance to be more accessible to new readers and possibly boost the legacy of the Flash onto the level of someone like Superman or Batman.

Issue 6 is slated to come out just a few days before Christmas of 2009, and I'm really looking forward to the last issue. Even more exciting is that next year a new volume of "The Flash" comic series will start and it has all the potential to be the best volume yet.

Rise of The Argonauts

I like Greek mythology. I always have. When I heard that there was a game based around the legend of Jason and the Golden Fleece, I was intrigued. It took me awhile to get around to playing it, however – big name titles like Gears of War 2, Halo 3: ODST and Borderlands have occupied my 360's disk drive for the last several months. I've also taken to revisiting old favorites like Lost Planet, and these combined have maintained a rather complete monopoly on my play time. But Rise of The Argonauts has been on my “to try” list for awhile, and with its used price dropping to $17.99 at Gamestop, this seemed like a pretty good time to try it.

Rise of The Argonauts is, at its core, Mass Effect set to the tune of Greek mythology. When I heard summaries like this used to the describe the title prior to playing it, I wasn't sure how to feel about it.
Most of the elements that made Mass Effect (and other Bioware RPGs, for that matter) noteworthy are here. Exploration of multiple environments, a cast of interchangeable party members (and cutscenes which differ depending on your choice of party), an action based combat system as opposed to a turn based one, and heavy emphasis on a semi-functional conversation simulator as a means of campaign progression.

It seems a simple enough question – did you like Mass Effect? If so, you might like Argonauts. Did you not like Mass Effect? Then leave Argonauts alone. I firmly believe, however, that one would be sorely mistaken if this is the basis by which they decide whether or not to play this game. I will you why.

Rise of The Argonauts is an action-RPG, and there's no denying it. You will explore several dungeons, acquire party members as you progress, fight an ancient evil, save mankind, et cetera so forth, but you will also do so in a bastardized retelling of Greek Mythology. Many familiar names are present – Hercules, Achilles, Argos, Medusa, Perseus, and of course the player's character, Jason. Their stories are not preserved in the most accurate fashion, but we're not here for a history lesson, and only the most steadfastly prude mythology buffs are likely to take offense. Can you fight minotaurs with Achilles and Hercules at your side? Yes. Is it awesome? Yes.



While we're on the subject of battle, the combat system warrants close examination. As I've said, battles are not turn based, but rather action oriented, giving the player direct control over Jason as he cuts, bashes and stabs his way through legions of Ionian mercenaries, Satyrs, Tartarus Fiends, Blacktongue sorcerers, and then some.
You have no control whatsoever over your party members. This is frustrating at times, particularly in situations where enemies must be defeated in a certain place, but Hercules and Pan are insistent upon running into the green ooze which makes the Tartarus Fiends invincible and fighting them there, instead of following your lead and luring them onto dry land where they can actually be killed.
To be fair though, this only happened once. Support characters do their job well, and contribute a great deal to the melee in even the most frantic of combat situations. They score genuine kills, and take the some of heat off of Jason when the fighting gets thick. Each character (Atalanta, Pan, Hercules, and Achilles) has their own unique fighting style and special abilities. They don't level up however, and you can't change their equipment, almost relegating them to an aspect of the scenery, so you probably won't spend too much time in deciding which to take into battle.
As far as what you can control in combat, Jason himself is your sole vehicle. This is where Argonauts really shines, presenting us with a combat system that is both simple and engrossing. Attack combinations are executed through simple button mashing, and pretty much every enemy in the game is defeated in a fashion one would utilize in even the simplest hack 'n slash/beat 'em up title. Different attack and weapon combinations yield different results each time a new button is added to the mix, and with a mace, sword and spear at your fingertips, you'll find no shortage of ways to dispatch your foes. Multi-weapon combos are also present (switching weapons mid-attack for extra damage) and Jason's shield is used for both attack (decapitations, specifically) and defense. You will also gain access to special God Powers as you play, which change the flow of combat in a variety of ways. Argonauts is a gory battlefield, and a fun one at that. Even so, you'll probably find yourself using the same patterns over and over again (I'm particularly fond of the spear thrust followed by a shield decapitation), and the fighting wears thin after an hour or two of play time. If I had to summarize it, I'd say it lies somewhere between God of War and Dynasty Warriors, equal parts intricate and repetitive.
The leveling and stat progression system is heavily streamlined, giving you more time to focus on the quest for the Golden Fleece itself. You'll spend a minimal amount of time managing Jason's stats, a task which is quite simply performed by assigning skill points in the form of your completed sidequests and story missions. As opposed to a skill tree, you are presented with the concept of devoting any given quest to one of Jason's four patron gods (Apollo, Ares, Athena and Hermes). Each god or goddess enhances different aspects of Jason's combat efficiency, meaning that you have to choose whether or not you want to devote Manslayer IV (this is actually the name of a sidequest) to Ares for more attack power, or to Apollo for fast health regeneration. It's not a complicated system, and with a minimal amount of planning, you'll find yourself in control of a fairly badass Jason by the end of your fourth dungeon. The system works well, and plays into an emphasis on a casual gaming as opposed to RPG level-grinding.
Sound, graphics, camera and play controls, save-and-load and their ilk are all competent to well constructed. Autosave is ever present throughout the main quest. Cutscenes are well animated. Technically speaking Rise of The Argonauts is almost watertight, with only a few hiccups to hold it back. The occasional invisible wall (why can't I go BETWEEN the pillars instead of AROUND them?) and camera spasm (it's having a seizure because I took out my sword!) prevent Argonauts from being called structurally sound, but you'll hardly notice. If you're in the mood, you'll probably spend the majority of your time talking to the dozens of NPCs and looking forward to your next fight, as opposed to bemoaning a few annoying glitches.


It almost seems wrong to devote so much attention to a game that borrows so liberally from other titles. The aforementioned examples (God of War, Mass Effect, Dynasty Warriors) are all obvious examples of previous, successful titles that clearly influenced the Argonauts team as this game was created. You can call it a Mass Effect ripoff all you like, but as I plunged through the jungles of Saria and felled foes by the dozen in Mycenae's arena, a thought occurred to me: Rise of The Argonauts is trying most fervently to be its own game. It fails only because of the many games to come before it that did in a revolutionary way what it does so passively. This is not a soulless cash-in, but rather a sort homage. If imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, then Rise of The Argonauts is a love letter.
And besides, if a game based on classic Christian literature can bleed God of War so shamelessly, then I see no reason why Jason and The Argonauts can't take a cue from Captain Shepperd.

PS3 Demo Impressions: Dante's Inferno + Bayonetta

DANTE'S INFERNO: You’ve undoubtedly heard of Dante’s Inferno now. You know, the ultraviolent action game by EA and Visceral Games that butchers a piece of classical literature in the name of swinging a scythe around hacking shit up. The demo was just released for it on the PSN yesterday, and my friend and I took it upon ourselves to download that shit and give it a spin.

I’m going to come right out and admit, on my first play through, I did not enjoy it a whole lot. It’s not that there’s anything wrong with the game, per se. From the moment I took up the controller I knew that the game played almost EXACTLY like God of War. I mean, I knew it, we all knew it, it was fairly obvious that the game was basing itself heavily off of God of War, but once you start playing and seeing everything in action, you realize that it’s…well, it’s TOO MUCH like God of War. I feel weird about it, because if more games were like God of War, there would be fewer shitty games in existence, but at the same time it feels almost like outright plagiarism and, being a fan of God of War myself, I felt kind of dirty. And while I want to judge it on it’s own level as a game, you cannot help but make comparisons unless you yourself have never played the God of War series.

The controls are virtually the same (albeit a wee bit slower since you‘re swinging around a big scythe), the Quick Time Event bits are virtually the same, there’s very little difference between the soundtracks, you gain health and magic through fountains much like how Kratos uses treasure chests, and fuck, even the spirits that come out of destroyed objects and slaughtered enemies used to gain new attacks and abilities are identical with the exception of a color swap. My first time through the demo, I kept thinking, “man, I could just be playing God of War 2 right now and probably be having more fun.”

So is any of this a really bad thing? Not necessarily. Controls are tight, the action is, erm, visceral (ugh), the Crucifix is a nice touch, and the graphics are brain-meltingly spectacular. A lot of time, effort, and money has gone into this game, and it shows very clearly.

What REALLY bothers me, however, are little nagging things concerning the cinematics and a lack of, how do I put this, thrills? which God of War provides. The first time we see Dante in the opening cinematic, he’s sitting by a fire in the middle of the forest, sewing a red fabric cross to his fucking chest. Why? I have no clue. Then we cut to strange-looking 2D animation of the crusades, and then it goes straight into the gameplay. I had no real idea where I was, what was going on, or why I was really killing these people. Then in the most anticlimactic, boring fashion, someone shoves a dagger in Dante’s back, Death shows up, and you two throw down.

Should Death really be that much of a pushover? REALLY? It’s such a dull fight too. Think back to the beginning of God of War: You’re jumping from ship to ship fighting the motherfucking HYDRA. Here, however? You kill a bunch of generic dudes and then have a boss battle against Death, and it just feels like something is not right.

But that’s not just it. Dante, to me, is not an endearing character. We don’t hear him speak much, he’s alarmingly quiet, and the cutscenes are so very convoluted that I have no real idea why things are happening. His motives are clear after he finds Beatrice dead, sure, but before that? I was lost. I just don’t really feel connected to this guy.

But I’ll probably still get the game, just not on day one or anything like that. If only because the shots of Hell that you see at the end of the demo are extremely disturbing and enticing at once, and I want to see that shit, even if I don’t care about the story or characters and even if it feels too damn derivative of God of War.



BAYONETTA: Ah, now here is my favorite of these two demos. Bayonetta has been getting quite a bit of attention. Developed by Platinum Games, the former Clover guys responsible for Madworld on the Wii (which you may recall I reviewed). Much like Dante’s Inferno, this demo fails utterly at letting you know what the fuck the story of this game is about and doesn’t let on much about who the characters are.

However, strangely enough, this time around I don’t really care. Bayonetta herself oozes personality, not just in her off-the-wall design, but in her behavior as well. One of her taunts is, I shit you not, “I have a fever, and the only cure for it is MORE DEAD ANGELS!”

Yes, my friends, you’re playing as a tall, sexy, bespectacled witch with guns on her feet, and the enemies you face are angels. Very vicious and slightly disturbing looking angels, might I add. Why? Who knows, but it beats hacking up a bunch of generic guys with swords, doesn’t it?

I’ve heard this game draw comparisons to Devil May Cry, specifically because this is directed by the same dude, but I’ve never played DMC, so I have no idea how similar they are. I can say, however, that this demo is incredibly fun and stylish. Bayonetta kicks, shoots, and punches (or slices, if you switch to her katana) her way through foes with grace and power as hyperactive Japanese piano-heavy music plays. Get your magic bar filled up and you can do “Torture Attacks” to enemies, which involve fun torture devices. The only two I’ve witnessed are an Iron Maiden which Bayonetta kicks them into, and a guillotine. She’ll actually spank the enemy while they’re in the guillotine until the blade drops.

Yes, it’s all so very over-the-top and wild, super-fast paced, and just all kinds of fun. This is a game with its tongue planted firmly in its cheek. While Dante’s Inferno is trying to be super serious and heavy, Bayonetta is light-hearted colorful. The graphics are beautiful, with all kinds of colors and the enemy designs are just as imaginative and crazy as Bayonetta herself. It’s a hell of a lot more thrilling, too, when a giant angel has grabbed the bridge you’re standing on and is swinging it around as you’re trying to fight the damn thing.

I confess, I had a bias for this from the very beginning. This is a game coming from the makers of some of the best damn action games that no one ever played on the PS2, not to mention Madworld. I can see elements of their former games in this demo alone, the ability to grab enemy’s weapons and use them is almost right out of God Hand and Madworld, as is the fact that you cannot block, only dodge, for example.

I cannot wait for this game to come out next year, yes.

(NOTE: These impressions are from the PS3 demo. I hear the 360 Bayonetta demo is actually a little different)

[Brett]

Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 (Campaign Only)

WAR. UH. WHAT IS IT GOOD FOR? ABSOLUTELY NOTHIN'. SAY IT AGAIN!

Last month, the highly anticipated Call Of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 slammed headfirst onto the shelves, awaiting the grubby hands of the hardcore and casual alike. A new edition of a Call of Duty game typically delivers what fans want, and in this case, much more.

In Infinity Ward’s latest installment of their Call of Duty franchise, you again assume multiple roles, first beginning your violent journey as U.S. Army Ranger Joseph Allen, instructing new recruits how to fire a weapon in Afghanistan. This, and a quick time trial serves as your tutorial and difficulty gauge. After replaying the time trial a few times to freshen up on my first-person shooter skills, I headed off into the campaign under the Normal difficulty setting.

You begin game proper taking an Afghan municipality from a group of terrorists, where you do so well that General Sheppard enlists you into his elite counter-terrorist unit, Task Force 141. Meanwhile, veteran members Gary “Roach” Sanderson and “Soap” MacTavish are retrieving a important piece of tech from a downed satellite. Allen’s first mission, as part of a CIA spec ops assignment, involves becoming one of Russian terrorist Vladimir Makarov’s right hand men.

You, Makarov, and two other of his closest buddies proceed to commit one of the most heinous acts ever put forth in a video game. Armed with automatic rifles, your new friends mow down hundreds of unarmed civilians and TSA agents in a Russian airport. Fortunately, you are only required to keep up with Makarov, not necessarily pull the trigger on the innocents. But as you watch others crawl for their lives, behind benches and coffee counters, and as you listen to the screams of terror you are enabling, you really feel quite the emotional impact of such an event. Once the act of terror as been completed, it’s revealed Makarov knows you are an American and kills you at the scene. The Russian government finds you, believes the U.S. was in support of this massacre, and subsequently launches a full scale invasion upon the East Coast, evading U.S. early detection systems. As Army Ranger Ramirez you trek the streets of the Virginian suburbs and Washington, D.C., battling the invading Russians. As Task Force 141 operative Roach you seek to find Makarov and expose him as the true mastermind behind the Russian airport slayings.

This guy is a douche. Like, biggest-douche-in-the-universe douche.

Never before have I played an action war title that felt so real. Maybe it has been a long time since I played what the industry has had to offer for war games, sticking close to futuristic titles like Halo and Half Life, but there was something peculiar about defending the front line in a shopping plaza of a Taco ToGo (Taco Bell), Burger Town (Burger King) and a sports bar and grill that looked an awful lot like TGI-Fridays. I swear, I felt as if I could have been fighting in front of a Publix, the place of my employment. The missions found out of the country didn’t strike as hard of a chord, but they were still bone shatteringly real, and the fire fights required some amount of tactics, instead of the usual run and gun of aforementioned titles. Maybe I'm just happy I'm not fighting the German's again, and in the 1940s.

Watching the Russian viciously attack the homeland made me actually angry, and I played the game with a vicious emotion. I really wanted to kill the attackers. They violated my territory, and I felt a strong tie to my task of defending what was ours, even though it was all in a virtual world. The same can be said for the task of finding and revealing that bastard Makarov.

The atmosphere and environments were top of the line. Everywhere I went, I was enthralled in the game. Nothing was so jarringly “video game” that it violated my experience. My only gripe would have to be how some of the homes you must venture into are a bit unrealistically spacey and large. My perception might be skewed, but houses, even those owned by the wealthy, aren’t usually like that. There is always an amount of clutter or tight spaces, even if it’s minimal.

The game play is something to behold. There is an even mix of “Holy shit, this is dumb” hard, where there’s a particular wall of enemies that you seem to repeatedly get trampled by, and “TAKE THAT” instances where you enact great moments of kick-assery. The game doesn’t stick to only gunplay, taking brief breaks to let you scale an ice mountain, drive a snow mobile, pilot a speed boat, and more. Some of my favorite sequences were breach and clear opportunities. You and your squad mates bust down the doors of a room, and, in bullet time, take out all the enclosed enemies. Another is using the remote controlled Predator drones, your rocket friends in the sky, to aim and fly into your biggest targets or simply a large foot team of opposing soldiers.

Shooting from the hip, what one typically does in every other first person shooter, is mostly ineffective. Instead, the game prefers you stop, aim, and fire, making for a more realistic war experience. You have to hunker down, in a trench, behind some wood, and strategically take out your foes.

Proper "hunkering down" pose.

The loading screens in-between missions were passive, because the story progressed while you waited, listening in on conversations and tactical strategies of your next task. Also, I was very pleased to see the missions progress without stopping to load the next environment in the middle of them. In game ambiance, and sound effects were brilliant. The score, main theme provided by Hollywood great Hans Zimmer, was incredible. The story, overall, was written quite cohesively and strung the campaign together nicely.

This installment of Infinity Ward’s favorite child was given so much gamer and media hype. I firmly believed it deserved every bit of it.

Oh and I’ve also heard good things about the multiplayer.

Albums I Won't Ever Shut Up About: Of Natural History (Sleepytime Gorilla Museum)

"And let us dream now, the impossible dream of a math professor..."



You know them as: That band I bring up when someone says they listen to "anything but country/rap".

Sounds a bit like: An art-house metal Broadway show about how much human beings suck

Sometimes, you want something different. Sleepytime Gorilla Museum is different. And then some. With an anti-humanist theme, some intensely Satanic and apocalyptic overtones, and an almost schizophrenic musical style that seems not to know whether it wants to be metal, children's rhyme, Broadway musical number or religious hymn, Of Natural History is most definitely not for everyone. Lead vocalists Carla Kihlstedt and Nils Frykdahl each bring their own bizarre and wonderful flavor to the table—Kihlstedt with an almost childishly innocent wailing, Frykdahl alternating between harsh screaming voice and melodramatic Broadway lead. The instrumentation is...varied. The band members craft custom instruments to play on both the studio album and live performances, which creates an interesting experience no matter how you're listening to it ("frontman" Nils Frykdahl playing on a tiny children's piano is something that must be seen (if only on Youtube) to be believed).

It's not as avant-garde as some of the stuff out there (LET'S JUST MAKE A DRONING NOISE FOR THREE HOURS WHILE WEARING MASKS), but it's definitely weird.

Get it if: You're actually looking to broaden your musical palate; you want to freak your parents/grandparents/religious aunt out; you're extremely pretentious.
High Points: "The Donkey-Headed Adversary of Humanity Opens the Discussion", "Bring Back the Apocalypse", "Gunday's Child"

Albums I Won't Ever Shut Up About: The Fall of Math (65daysofstatic)

Sssssssssixty-five...



You know them as: "Playing Gears? Let's plug in my iPod..."
Sounds something like: The soundtrack to the end of the world, as played by ancient robots who secretly lament the fall of humanity

If any band exemplifies the term "post-rock", 65daysofstatic is it. "Post-" not only in terms of evolution but also in terms of feel, The Fall of Math is a discordant, layered masterwork that is a musical accompaniment to Armageddon. It might blow your mind. It is this band and this album that informed me just how broad the musical landscape was out there, and that there was a Promised Land in it for anyone willing to explore its lonely wilds and vast subterranean catacombs. At once rocking, haunting, and beautiful, The Fall of Math makes good use of heavy guitar and electronic samples with a smattering of piano, backed by some of the most insane drum structures you'll hear outside of the IDM genre...all without any distracting or out-of-place vocals. The drums, both live and programmed, really move the music, putting power and urgency into each and every song.Every track, the world is ending. We're losing the fight, or winning it. Something is going on.

Oh, and as you rush to the dropship, remember to reload your assault rifle so the angels guarding the landing zone have some covering fire.

Get it if: You want a soundtrack for Fallout, Gears of War, or Half-Life 2; you like drums but dislike vocals
High Points: "Retreat! Retreat!", "I Swallowed Hard, Like I Understood", "The Fall of Math"

(Note: their second album, One Time for All Time, features "Await Rescue", hands-down one of my favorite songs ever and an exquisite battlesong.)

http://www.65daysofstatic.com/

DJ Hero Review

Put ya hands up, here comes my DJ



I entered into a shaky alliance with dark forces to procure a DJ Hero bundle. I'm sure many of you shared my sentiments earlier in the year when this title was announced by Activision, something of a cross between an exasperated sigh, an incredulous "Really?! Seriously.", and that expression your dog has when he hears your voice coming out of the voicemail machine. I saw this, however, and was immediately sold.

What DJ Hero brings to the table is the charm, fresh gameplay and new method of experiencing music that the first Guitar Hero did. Pressing buttons in response to colored gems flowing down that familiar highway is still a basic staple, but more than enough has changed around that tried-and-true rhythm game mechanic to set it apart from its band-driven cousins.



The real challenge of the game comes in scratching and crossfading. You scratch by holding down a button and moving the "record", sometimes in a specific direction. Scratching feels solid and, I can only assume, fairly realistic (in the same way that holding a plastic guitar and strumming feels realistic). Crossfading is somewhat difficult to grasp at first. Using your other hand, you flick the crossfader to switch between the left track, both tracks combined, and the right track. There's also an "effects dial" that distorts certain portions of the song and doubles your multiplier, and also selects between sound clips that can be triggered during red "freestyle zones". Once you get the hang of it, it's every bit as fun as playing Guitar Hero or Rock Band—that is, if you enjoy the music.

What Freestyle Games have done musically in this title is nothing short of astounding. Nearly every song in the game is a mashup between two songs, oftentimes from completely different genres. Artists as varied as 2Pac, David Bowie, Rihanna, Beck, Marvin Gaye and Paul van Dyk contribute songs, some of which are mixed by some of the biggest names on the DJ scene, including DJ Shadow, DJ Z-Trip, and the late DJ AM. Grandmaster Flash and DJ Jazzy Jeff are also present, bringing some old-school flair to the proceedings. But even though there are more famous turntablists represented than you can shake a needle at, it never feels forced, especially with special setlists presented by all the real DJs in the game. The fictional characters are also some of the most interesting seen in a music game (Cleetus Cuts alone deserves his own adventure).



It's a solid setup, but not without its shortcomings. The weight of the turntable controller combined with a lack of stability in most scenarios makes it difficult to perform certain scratch patterns, especially on the faster scratch-centric tracks. The buttons, too, suffer from some inaccuracy at higher levels of play, where one has to press buttons almost ludicrously fast. Really, though, it is only during these few songs that you will feel as though the controller is working against you. Another minor complaint is that though the title boasts over one hundred mixes, there aren't enough unique songs. While many songs are in fact sampled multiple times—"Disturbia" by Rihanna and Gwen Stefani's "Hollaback Girl" each appearing in no less than three separate mixes—the fact remains that the overwhelming majority of the music is excellent.

The game does feature a few multiplayer modes, including play over Xbox Live. The mode that I'm sure many followers of the game have been itching to try out—where another player straps on a Guitar Hero controller to accompany the DJ—is solid, if a little flat. The only issue here is that the guitar songs are far too repetitive to be any real fun, and my cohort and I have yet to return to it. DJ vs. DJ was not reviewed, as I hate other people and have chosen Xbox Live Silver as my self-imposed exile, and also neither one of us has another turntable controller. A final mode, while not multiplayer, allows you to set the game to play itself, basically becoming your own personal VJ. With the great background presentation that's actually fun to watch even when you're not playing and the option to jump in at any moment, it's a great mode for parties (so long as no one spills Jack and Coke on your precious turntable).



Having said all of this, I know those of you considering a purchase are still worried about the clincher: the $120 price tag. While I absolutely love the game, I have to say that for a brand-new franchise Activision is trying to launch with the shortcomings it presents, it's too much. Not grossly so, but I think perhaps ninety would have been sufficient (as that's what Guitar Hero II for the 360 cost at launch). One could argue that Activision is cautious about the profit margin and figures if less people buy it they may as well get a bigger cut from those who do, but if someone with no desire to buy it in the first place sees the price, I think it might deter potential new attachers, especially since so few retailers have a demo station set up.

In short, the game is a great first entry in a new franchise which represents a new direction for Activision's massively popular music game/peripheral market. Though a bit pricey, the bundle is a lot of fun so long as you dig the music.

Borderlands: A First Look

  Listed as a FPS RPG this game at first sounds like it wouldn't work well. To many the style of RPG makes them think of Dungeons and Dragons and turn based combat and the FPS genre springs to mind face paced non-stop action shooting at anything that moves. To some these are things that cannot be combined, yet if you look at a lot of games nowadays you will notice that many genres are often cut up to combine other games.

Borderlands takes the experience and skill models from RPGs and puts them in the world of an FPS. You find guns instead of swords with various powers and strengths. This model works amazingly well and to (and The Captain) holds a feel similar to an MMO with a persistant world and enemies that respawn a while after they are killed. You find quests around the world and earn xp boosts completing them. I have only played through the first couple of bosses so far but the model works very well. The characters have an ability to recover if they manage to kill a monster after they are injured to near death allowing you to solo some of the tougher areas without dying too much. The game also has a revive system that deducts a specific amount of money as a penalty for dying.

I enjoy this game and plan to make a full review after I have completed it. 

Halo 3: ODST

WARNING: I am a shameless, unabashed Halo nerd. I love the universe, the characters, the plot, everything. I love it. I will make no attempt to conceal that for the duration of this review, but I will try to be as objective as possible. Then again, this is HA, and we do what we want.

Halo 3: ODST - My Xbox 360 refused to function last Monday. It displayed 'System Error: E 74. Contact Support.' I've been without it ever since, but fortunately was granted almost a week with ODST and it's accompanying Mythic disk before I shipped the console off to the repair center.



ODST is the fifth installment in the Halo game series, chronologically (in-universe) taking place in between Halo 2 and Halo 3. The series' preceding entry, Halo Wars (reviewed previously on HA), was a departure from the formula of the first three games. Replacing first person shooting with real time strategy, and the Master Chief with an entire stable of other characters, it was met with mixed reactions from the Halo fanbase. That aside, it was a solid game with good mechanics, and did take steps toward furthering the mythos of the Halo universe. Introducing new locations, scenarios and plot points, Halo Wars filled in a few blanks and gave players a look at another side of the Halo saga.

ODST continues this trend, but also returns to the series' roots. There is no resource management or population cap to be found here, but instead the classic, polished FPS formula which has made the series so famous.

The Master Chief is neither seen nor mentioned. Neither are any of the other Spartans, for that matter. Instead of the genetically and cybernetically enhanced super soldiers, we step into the boots of a team of Orbital Drop Shock Troopers. ODSTs have been a part of the Halo universe for quite some time, but this is the first opportunity we've been given to play as them (unless you count the ODST armor variants in Halo 3's multiplayer, but I digress).

To summarize the protagonist, you play as an unnamed ODST known only as "The Rookie". As the Rookie investigates the ruined streets of New Mombasa, you play through flashback sequences wherein you discover what happened to the rest of The Rookie's ODST squad, and play as each member respectively.

It should be noted that ODST can almost certainly be considered the greatest example of storytelling within the Halo universe, at least as far as the games are concerned. The dialogue is well written, and delivered to the player via such voice talent as Nathan Filion (!!!). The plot is more subtle, and less straight forward than previous entries. Instead of the standard, "Shoot the aliens because they are bad so save the humans okay?" formula, ODST raises questions at almost every turn. From the start we know only one thing - something has gone horribly wrong in New Mombasa, and the player can hope only to salvage what remains of The Rookie's squad and make it out alive. The art style of the game will remind players of some of Halo 2's early sequences, wherein The Master Chief did battle through New Mombasa, but this is a setting far more polished, and far more human that it's predecessor. It is also far darker, as New Mombasa is no longer the sprawling metropolis it once was, but rather a ruined, burning city. Audio diaries found throughout the map help to flesh out the realism of the story, as well as graffiti scrawled on the walls of derelict buildings, and the bodies of dead UNSC soldiers. This is a gritter, less space-operatic look at the Halo universe. Empathy for the characters is an easier thing to harbor than it was for the faceless Spartan 117, and the wise cracking marines which never made it to the end of a level in the first three games.



This is not, of course, to say that the teeth-gritting action of the early games is not present. Not all of the player's time is spent skulking around in alleyways and side streets. The flashback scenes in particular have the player mowing down wave after wave of Covenant enemies, piloting vehicles, throwing grenades and circle-strafing just like we're used to. If you like Halo's gameplay formula, or ever have, ODST is worth trying out. If you're one of those you simply can't stand it, then you're better off playing something else.

I could probably go on and on about everything I love about this game. As stated, I am a shameless fanboy, and it's unlikely that anything with the Halo moniker on it will fail to impress me. ODST in particular however takes serious steps, and makes a visible attempt at innovating within a series that has followed roughly the same formula for the past eight years. Make no mistake - This is Halo, but it's also something new.

The game's new multiplayer mode, Firefight, will appeal to fans of Gears of War 2's Horde Mode, or to anyone with a taste for co-operative gameplay. Firefight pits up to four players against endless waves of Covenant enemies in a closed off arena, with increasing difficulty at the end of every wave. Difficulty multipliers are activated automatically as you progress, adding a layer of challenge and breaking up some of the monotony. The arcade like point-scoring system encourages competitiveness between players, as well as creativity in how the player scores kills (different weapons yield different points values). It's a nice addition to the Halo universe, and one that Bungie will hopefully expand upon in the future.

All in all ODST is a worthy addition to the library of any fan of first person shooters, and an essential for any Halo fan. I count myself among both groups, and enjoyed nearly every minute I spent with ODST's 6-8 hour campaign. A bonus disk including every Halo 3 map to date, as well as three new ones, and Halo 3's matchmaking system is included. It's also worth noting that with the launch of Halo Waypoint on November 5th 2009, ODST will be one of only three games which (as of that date) supports Avatar awards on the Xbox 360.

An Assortment of Debris

I haven't posted in awhile. So just because I had the idea, here's a quick rundown of stuff I've laid hands on recently,

Star Wars: Battlefront 2 - I've loved this game for years. Finding a copy for five dollars at my local Blockbuster was like a gift from the heavens. It's just as good as I remember, and if you have the Xbox version, with an active Live account and a valid credit card tied to said account, you can download content from Battlefront 1. Also Kit Fisto. Kit Fisto.




The Golden Compass(Xbox 360) - This is what you do with The Golden Compass, if you're ever in a position where you have to play it.

1. Try to enjoy the first five minutes where you're a polar bear.

2. Endure the ten minutes where you play as a useless little girl.

3. Earn the 10GS for beating the first boss, as a polar bear.

4. Immediately remove the game from your console, return it to its case, and throw it out the window. Never speak of it again.

DiRT (Xbox 360) Your approach to DiRT should pretty much be the same as that concerning The Golden Compass; play the first mission, get a couple achievements, and then get rid of it. Unless you like racing games, and then you might be tempted to spend a little more time with it. If that's the case, then go for it, but since I don't like racing games, and never play them, it's difficult for me to comment on the quality. I will say that the game is pretty, and the graphics are impressive by any standard. 'Course, I was drinking when I played it, so take from that what you will.



Condemned 2: Bloodshot (Xbox 360) - I only played this game for about twenty minutes, and it didn't hook me. Everything was dark and covered in black slime. Then there were monster things that burst into more black slime when you hit them. Graphics were good, though.




Virtua Fighter 5 (Xbox 360) - Maybe if I'd played this back when it came out, I would have enjoyed it more, but in a world where Soul Calibur 4 has already spent several hours dozen in my console, and Tekken 6 is only a short ways away, Virtua Fighter didn't impress me. At all. The graphics and sound were acceptable. Everything has a glossy, plastic look to it. The controls were stiff, and I found combos to be a difficult thing to pull off. Meh.




The Darkness (Xbox 360) - If you've ever watched Yahtzee's review of this game's demo, then you have a pretty good idea of what it's about. The controls weren't bad, but I had to manually adjust the aim sensitivity. The graphics were good. The narrative is interesting, but I didn't get far enough to really comment on it. Sound effects are good.


All of these were purchased from the buy-one-get-one bin at Blockbuster. As for the good stuff,



Shadow Complex (Xbox 360) - Hell yes. Hell. Yes. This game wins on all fronts, as far as I'm concerned. You can read a full review at just about any major game site, but if you're looking for another recommendation, you've found it. At 1200 MS points, Shadow Complex is well worth it's weight in gold. Or something. Herm.

Mass Effect: Pinnacle Station (Xbox 360) - At only five dollars, Pinnacle Station is a decent addition to the Mass Effect universe, but it's hardly a compelling one. It consists of a series of combat scenarios which, upon completion, award the player with a cumulative total 150GS. This bumps Mass Effect's total achievable Gamerscore up to 1200GS, if you're into that kind of thing. The early descriptions promised four hours of gameplay, but I completed it in about two, by my count. If anything, Pinnacle Station is a look at what multiplayer might look like when applied to the Mass Effect game model, and it's an interesting experiment.

Wet(Demo [Xbox 360]) - If you like guns, swords, hot chicks in tight leather, Quentin Tarentino, or extreme violence, give this demo a whirl. The demo contains a good twenty minutes of solid gameplay, and is a roller coaster ride of ludicrous, unadulterated fun. Slow-mo shooting and absurd acrobatics abound in this third person action game, as well as cinematic quick-time events ala God of War, and gameplay which will brings to mind John Woo's Stranglehold and even the Prince of Persia series. Try it. Go on.

Left 4 Dead - I suppose I'm late to the party on this one, but oh well. Left 4 Dead is a multiplayer survival-horror FPS extravaganza, which really doesn't do anything to revolutionize any one of the three. It does, however, do everything it sets out to do, providing players with several solid hours of good, clean, undead fun. Give it a rental, if nothing else.




ODST comes out Tuesday. Expect a review.

Mother 3

This is the first JRPG I’ve ever actually beaten.

There, I admitted it. As many Final Fantasy titles and such that I’ve played, I’ve never before beaten a single JRPG in my life, except for the Pokémon titles, and I’m not so sure those count. It was on my list of things to do before I die, beat a traditional JRPG, and now I’ve done it with Mother 3.

So what led me to play this game to completion while I can’t beat a single Final Fantasy? A number of things, really.

Mother 3 is the third and possibly final title in the Mother series of RPGs made by Nintendo. The first game, on the NES, never came to America, but the second one is best known here in the west as Earthbound on the SNES. Mother 3 also was never released in America, it’s a Japan-only GBA game. Thankfully, a crack team of hardcore fans got together and translated the game into English for us to play with the magic of Not-Emulators. Because emulating games you don’t already own is illegal, kids!

I’d played a bit of Earthbound before out of curiosity, and it was quite charming, funny, and sometimes outright surreal, so I was hoping for more of that when I gave Mother 3 a spin, and I was not at all disappointed. The story goes as such: The little village of Tazmily is the happiest place around. Everyone is kind and there is no form of currency at all, you can just walk into the general store and take whatever you need. Yes, it’s the happiest little place around…until tragedy strikes a small family made up of a husband (I named him Warren), his wife (Leia…don’t look at me like that), Lucas (you know, from Super Smash Bros Brawl?) and his twin brother Claus, and their dog who I named Dude. I won’t go into detail, but suffice it to say that the first half-hour or so of the game really messes with your emotions.



Lucas is the main character, as one would assume, but you don’t get to play as him for the first few hours of the game, instead controlling the father and a local thief (who I named Cage). The game is quite traditional as old-school JRPGs go; top-down view, turn-based battles, item management, leveling up, nothing you’ve never really seen before, but it has a few neat twists to it. There are no random encounters in the game, you see your enemies as they approach you to initiate the battles. Your HP counter is on a dial, so if you’re hit for massive damage, instead of instantly shaving off those HP and killing you, it rolls like a countdown, giving you a little bit of time to try to heal before you’re dead. It really makes those close battles thrilling, struggling to find the right item or attack to use before you’re snuffed out. And, thankfully, grinding doesn’t make up such a huge chunk of gameplay like it would in your typical Final Fantasy, so you don’t have to spend countless hours trying to level up just in order to face that one boss character who is an Arabian man with cybernetic parts and horns (as in the brass variety that play jazz music) coming out of his nose. It’s how he communicates, see, he plays smooth jazz music through those horns and a robot translates for him.

And that brings us to the main reason I loved this game and played to finish: there’s a lot of weird, quirky stuff and it’s very, very funny. Earthbound is rather infamous for its strange style and humor, and Mother 3 has it in spades. I mean come on, a major group of characters important to the game’s plot, the Magypsies, are drag queens with five-o’clock shadows! The ghosts in a haunted castle will trade you items for Rotten Eclairs, you have to fight monsters like a pile of lava wearing old grandma sunglasses with huge lips, and you spend a nice chunk of the game in disguise as members of the Pigmask army, the antagonists in the game who are responsible for all the horrible things going on. And yet, when you talk to them, they’re really not bad guys, kind of like Stormtroopers, only slightly more incompetent.



Oh, and the Mr. Saturns return, and it’s great.

So despite how it’s a bit easier than most hardcore RPGs tend to be, despite its simplistic graphics and gameplay, the story, the characters, the humor, the music, all of it wraps itself together in a unique little game that is equal parts surreal, uncomfortable, hilarious, and emotional. If only Nintendo would release it over here in America, yes?

[Brett]

Mechanical Violator Hakaider (1995)

Oh, Japan. You silly little guy, you. Just when we think we've seen it all, just when you get us believing that there aren't any more crazy, awesome, tripped out movies that you've been hiding up your sleeve, you wave your arm with a magician's flourish, and before us appears yet another hour and a half of WTFery.

This film, which is apparently a spinoff of the popular Kikaider series (which has seen treatment as an anime, manga, and tokusatsu live action series) stars the titular robot fighting against an evil, oppressive government which rules its citizens through the use of super-human cyborg-soldiers, and by robbing them of their emotions. It's a fairly straight forward plot, so I won't spend too much time commenting on it.

Apparently, the film was not well received by the Kikaider fanbase when it premiered in 1995. I'm not familiar with it personally, so I really can't comment. That's probably for the best, as I was able to take this film for what it is, and do so without any preconceptions or comparisons to the parent material.

This movie is insane. Persons familiar with the likes of Casshern, Kamen Rider and Garo will find themselves in familiar territory, but that's not to say that the movie is without it's own unique style and charm.

The movie kicks off showing a group of anonymous armed men running through dark, dank corridors. They find a locked door which they open with some weird electronic key, and inside they find a man chained to a wall. After yelling about how they had hoped to find treasure and not a person, the man in the chains looks up. Then they shoot him. A lot. They shoot him like you would shoot a skinless four headed dog, if it showed up in your bathroom and you just happened to have an assault rifle handy.
Suddenly the guy is neither in chains, nor is he a guy anymore. He's a heavily armored, heavily armed robot, and he kills everybody. He then spews some cliche, "WHO AM I I CAN'T REMEMBER" dialogue, and reclaims his motorcycle which nobody noticed before. It should be noted that the motorcycle was chained to the floor.
From here, Hakaider drives his newly liberated motorbike across an undefined distance to Jesus Town (it's actually called this, in both the Japanese original and translated version) where he fights guys in white robot suits and eventually liberates the people from their oppressive overlord, Gurjev (who wears a dead bird on his shoulder at all times).

I can say with relative confidence that any impressions you may have of Hakaider after reading the above summary are absolutely accurate. The movie is absurd on every level, and while one may find it somewhat more digestible if they are familiar with the Kikaider series, I suspect that bewilderment will follow a first time viewing of this film regardless of who's watching.

Over all, the movie is a lot of fun. The special effects are inventive, and include some early, and painfully obvious, CGI (it was 1995, after all). The action scenes are fairly well thought out, and the final battle between Hakaider and Michael (Gurjev's robot minion and the archetypal counterweight to our mechanical hero) is riveting. Fans of the Tokusatsu genre, wild Japanese cinema, and robots will find a lot to like here. I certainly did.

Arthas: Rise of the Lich King

This book from Christie Golden was fun and easy to read. If you have never heard of World of Warcraft and the RTS games that spawned it then you might be a little lost as to what is going on. This book has been released to help promote the newest expansion Wrath of the Lich King and gives a bit of an explanation as to why players were not fighting him before now.

The story takes place as three characters recall various points in the life of Arthas Menethil, who becomes the Lich King during the events fo the Warcraft 3 game.

The opening scene of the book actually requires understanding of the nature of the Lich King to fully comprehend. The Lich King is the spirit of an Orc Shaman named Ner'Zhul who was imprisoned by the Demons who wanted to control Azeroth and sent to Northrend to do so. In the opening scene the spirit of Ner'Zhul is sitting at a table with the humanity of the man who was once Arthas Menethil, which is portrayed by the youth he was long before all this happened. The humanity is sick and frail looking like it is clinging on with it's last threads.

The story then takes you to Arthas as a youth and proceeds to tell the story of his growing up stopping to show the events that turn him into the man who becomes the Lich King. It shows and intriguing look into the past of the character and leads to another short break. The second section of the book opens with the character Jaina Proudmoore (another main character from Warcraft 3) as she drifts into remembering what Arthas was like. The story then shows the love affair between the two characters and takes you through the events of Warcraft 3 from the perspective of a person who is not resurrected or able to build almost infinite troops. 

After another short interlude the story introduces Sylvanas Windrunner (a character Arthas killed and tortured in Warcraft 3 after becoming a Death Knight) and shows a bit of her plans, and then jumps back to cover the events of The Frozen Throne expansion to Warcraft 3.

I enjoyed the book and found it to be a good read. I do think some of it might be hard to follow if you know little to nothing of the Warcraft world and mythology. Although I think it could still stand as a story about the lengths one might go to if they are not careful.

Ultimate Wolverine Vs Hulk

I hate superhero comics nowadays.

I can’t keep up with them, they’re all too heavy and bloated with continuity issues, crossovers, I abhor the overall art styles coming from both Marvel (too realistic and dark) and DC (too bright and colorful), and it’s all losing its appeal. It just exhausts me and frustrates me, looking at the shelves full of superhero comics in stores when trying to find something genuinely interesting.

However, I love Ultimate Wolverine Vs Hulk, despite having no idea what the hell’s really going on in the Ultimate Universe or where this fits.

Let’s flashback a bit: Early 2006, I’m a senior in high school, some friends have just gotten me back into comics, and I’m picking up just about anything I can find (which leads to some ultimately painful, regrettable purchases) in comic book stores, nearly spending entire paychecks. This was when the first two issues of Ultimate Wolverine Vs Hulk were released together in one fancy “Director’s Cut” book, with sketches and the complete scripts for the first two issues. I got it out of curiosity, and was floored. I couldn’t wait for the next issue to come out…

…And, well, I kind of had to. Issue 3 was delayed so horribly that it didn’t come out until March 2009. Yeah. THIS YEAR. I had to wait THREE BLOODY YEARS for the series to pick back up again, and it just recently finished up, with the sixth and final issue coming out just last week, and I couldn’t be happier.

I mean, c’mon. Three pages into the first issue, you get a glorious two-page spread of Hulk ripping Wolverine in half. You heard right, HULK RIPS WOLVERINE IN HALF.



Yeah!

You’d think being ripped in half in the first issue wouldn’t make the rest of the story very interesting, and while these first two issues are largely flashbacks, it doesn’t stop crazy things like this from happening.

Oh right, plot. Did you read volume one of the Ultimates or watch the Ultimate Avengers movie? The basic gist is this: Hulk went mad, killed 600-some odd people in New York, and it was up to the newly-formed Avengers, known as the Ultimates, to stop him. Afterwards, S.H.I.E.L.D. publicly executed Bruce Banner by leaving him on an empty aircraft carrier in the middle of the ocean and dropping a nuke on it.

Except, you know, it didn’t kill him.

Flash forward a bit, and strange, violent occurrences are happening across Europe and Asia, events that, linked together, prove that Hulk is still alive. So Nick Fury hires Wolverine to go find Hulk in the Himalayas and kill him.

It just gets better from there.

There’s one primary reason that I love this story: Every single issue, without fail, has something positively INSANE happening, and hilarious (though admittedly somewhat juvenile) dialogue that always has me laughing out loud.

“Right before I got twisted around so I could see my own ass…I was lookin’ down at you and thinkin’, ‘what would be a really neat way to *&(@*&ing kill that mother*&$^*?”

The writer is Damon Lindelof, apparently the head writer of Lost, which I’ve never watched, so I can’t make any comparisons, but I can say the guy does a bang-up job of writing a good comic book story that’s actually FUN and ENTERTAINING. He also makes many sly references to previous Hulk Vs Wolverine encounters in the original Marvel universe, throws in a reference to Star Trek, and even takes a jab at that whole Civil War fiasco in a conversation between Captain American and Iron Man as they play ping pong out of costume. As far as the artist goes, Leinil Francis Yu, he can be a hit or miss artist, especially if someone else is inking his work and if the colorist is half-assed, but thankfully no one inked his art in this and the coloring isn’t too bright, but isn’t some monochrome, dark crap, either.

Plus, I can’t imagine many other artists being able to render a nice big shot of Wolverine, naked, trying to fight a panda and having flowers come out of his hands as opposed to his usual um, claws.

So, it is awesome, what more can I say? Even if you hate superhero comics, if you’re just a fan of wacky, violent hijinks and such, it is definitely worth checking out. The trade will undoubtedly be out in a few months’ time so you’re going to have to wait, but trust me: I waited three years for this, and it’s totally worth it.

[Brett]

Abbreviewations: Summer Movies May

Hello, I know I have not posted much, but I have been rather busy and my laptop died a month or so ago. I have been on a desktop since then but never got around to logging in. I figured I would post my thoughts on the summer movies that I saw last month during May.

X-Men Origins: Wolverine

I really enjoyed this movie, the action was fun and for me who has never read the comics much it was interesting to see the past of one of the characters from the x-men movies. I know this may not follow the comics very well (or it may) but as I said I have not read them. My biggest complaint is that Ryan Reynolds only is in the first ten or so minutes of the movie and then when he supposedly reappears they have sewn his mouth shut. Other than that I enjoyed it. The ending I got to see after the credits was a big disappointment, and I wish they could have given something more worth sitting through the credits at all theaters instead of just some. I understand them trying to combat the "leak" but while the movie was good I do not feel it was worth seeing multiple times for a 15 second clip and only seems to me to be a move of greed to try and get those who actually care enough to spend another 9 dollars

Star Trek

I remember growing up watching episodes of Star Trek: The Next Generation with my dad, and when I caught episodes of DS9 or Voyager I enjoyed them. In fact I own the DVDs of The Next Generation. Despite all this I have never liked  the original series. After hearing about the train wreck (although I have not seen and cannot confirm) of Nemesis, I hear about a new Star Trek Movie in the works. Then I hear about the fact that it will follow the original crew before they became the crew. I will admit that for a bit there I was iffy about the new movie. I started seeing the trailers and as Alex put it even not being a fan of the original crew I wanted to see it. Well I sit here after having seen it three times now and I say it was an excellent movie and worth seeing. I will admit when I was hanging out with friends going to see it I debated (since it would be my third viewing) fearing I would be bored during parts. I wasn't I was as enthralled (not accurate but closest I can think of right now) as much as I was the first two times. While I was originally worried about Sylar playing Spock, Zachary Quinto was so perfect that I can't think of a better actor for the part now. Many reviewers complain about the part of the story with Leonard Nimoy reprising his role as Spock Prime (as he is listed in the credits), but I find this a crucial part of the movie and it is just great to see Leonard Nimoy. Without Spock Prime the story of the movie does not fit with the already set up Star Trek Universe and would not be able to truly take the name. 

Angels & Demons

What many people do not fully realize, is that Angels & Demons came out and is set before The DaVinci Code, the thing is that the DaVinci Code got so much more press that they decided to make a movie of it first. The movie clearly did well enough that they decided to go ahead and make the other book in the series into a movie. Thankfully they did not try to reset the world and pretend the first movie had not happened, leading to one of the many changes from the book that are there. But the changes work for turning it into a movie and making it decent. Although (as is almost always the case) the book is better I enjoyed the movie, the downplay of CERN and the assassin are both acceptable although I felt the assassin seemed barely developed, but I can't see how they could have done better in a movie situation. I feel the change with the murdered CERN scientist/priest (although his being a priest is barely mentioned if at all, the biggest sign I noticed was he had on the collar at the beginning) to just Vittoria's partner, instead of her adoptive father is a bit questionable, it does not hinder the movie enough. Overall I felt it was worth watching although it might be better for a rent instead of the theater for most. I have to say my biggest question about the whole thing is why the magazines are claiming it to be a church movie, when it really has nothing to do with the church except that many of the main characters are heavily involved with it and it takes place there.

Terminator: Salvation

Fun explosive movie, lots of booms and gunfire, the biggest things that (only slightly) hinder the movie for me actually have little to do with the movie. The "big twist" of the movie is revealed in the trailers, otherwise the opening scenes would not work as the opener, essentially revealing that the character there is not fully human anymore. The movie to me shows why the whole series exists in that the machines do not understand the humans very well, which is why they keep losing the fight and need to try to change things. For those who were looking for the end of the series will be disappointed. The biggest questions I have are where does this fit in line with the other entries in the Terminator world, which ones are still valid which are not and where does this truly fall. I know it falls after Judgement day, but before the catalyst for Terminator, but does T3: Rise of the Machines count, or did judgement day happen some other way. I do know they have a chance to make at least one more, although that does not necessarily mean the series would have to end, the machines send a Terminatorback to try to tip the scales in their favor, but what happened to the resistance after they sent Kyle.

Well that is what I have seen this past month the last week (29th) did not have anything I really wanted to see, although I might see Up at some point, and Drag Me to Hell is only minimally tempting because Alison Lohman looks really beautiful to me in it, but I have never relly liked Horror

Thoughts on Punch-Out

It's about 11 minutes after 10 PM on Friday, May 29th, and well, right now, I just can't get my mind off of Punch-Out for the Nintendo Wii. I'm sure you don't want me to go and just praise every corner of this game like a lot of sites have done. Unlike a lot of recent Wii titles (MadWorld, eh-hem), this game seems to me getting exposure. Granted, it is a first party Nintendo title, but that doesn't excuse the fact that some games on the Wii just never seem to get the recognition they deserve.

I'm here to say that Punch-Out deserves every bit of attention it gets. I can't say the game is for everyone, but I know the game is certainly for me.

Developer "Next Level Games" is the same team that brought us "Super Mario Strikers" and "Mario Strikers Charged" on the GC and Wii. I personally love all of the Mario sports games, but soccer is my favorite sport outside of the Mushroom Kingdom, so of course those are my favorites. That being said, I will admit that those games can be challenging. Especially Strikers Charged on the Wii; some of the challenges the game had to unlock a few cheats were near impossible, and (un)fortunately, that difficultly rears it's head once again in Punch-Out.

Some people like a difficult game, so that can be a good thing, depending on how you look at it. I like a fine middle ground, and for the most part, this game achieves that.

A lot of people seem to be ripping on the motion controls in the game, and to be honest, I don't get why. The classic control scheme is available by holding the Wii remote sideways, and that's cool and all, but I just think the motion controls are way better. I've heard some people say that they seem unresponsive, and well...no. They respond just fine. It is easier with the remote, because it's much quicker to press the 1 and 2 buttons than it is do all the motions, but is it necessarily more fun? I don't think so.

Either control scheme you go with, the controls do feel great. I stuck with the motion controls and I made it all the way through Career and I'm working my way up Title Defense mode right now. I have no issues yet. There is the option of using the Wii Balance Board, and well...I should give it a try, but I just haven't. I heard a lot of people say that it just doesn't work that well. Honestly, I just don't feel like giving it a try. Call me lazy, but, I like dodging with the control stick just fine.

The music is AWESOME! One really cool thing is hearing how familiar it all sounds. Not only is the original Punch-Out theme redone a number of times with different instruments, but you can hear some of the sound effects and guitars and such from the Mario Striker games, and those games had great music.

And have I said just how cool Little Mac is? I think I look like him. OK, OK, I just want someone else to make that parallel so I had to say it myself. Sorry, I'm lame. But seriously, this game has just SO MANY cool moments. In between rounds, Doc Louis will just drop some of the best lines. Sometimes he really does help you out, and sometimes he just lets you know that his favorite flavor of protein shake is chocolate. And really, it's always great! You can even press the minus button once during a fight and Doc Louis will pull out a chocolate bar and eat it, giving Mac a health boost. Who thought of that? That's so cool.

It's the little things that Punch-Out does that makes it a classic. I love love love the NES version, but this version is my favorite. In fact, it's one of my favorite Wii titles ever, and that should mean something from a guy with over 30 Wii titles in his collection.

Little Mac changes outfits as you go up through the ranks. You get to see him wearing a green outfit with a blank top, a navy blue outfit with light blue trim, and even a gold outfit with red, white, and blue shorts.

Did I mention that there are cut scenes between fights going into the lives of your opponents? You get to see Glass Joe posing with a big loaf of bread in France. You get to see Bear Hugger beating up some bears. You get to see Von Kaiser reading a newspaper about Little Mac winning the WVBA World Title. There are a ton of them.

And for all the humor the game has, it totally gets you pumped up with it's attitude. It's like watching a Rocky movie. Seeing Little Mac go to town on a punching bag and chasing after Doc Louis on his bike just makes me want to go get a gym membership and start doing crunches.

Some people would say that this title isn't worth $50 dollars. I say it's worth more than that, but I would also say that it's value varies depending on what the game would mean to you. I know that's no help, but hear me out. Do you like boxing? Did you like the original Punch-Out? If you answered yes to either question, you could easily drop the money for this game and you will get more than your money's worth out of the purchase.

If you hate the Rocky movies and you're looking for a game with a lot of story, a lot of innovation, and mind blowing motion controls, this game probably won't be up your alley. However, I can't stress enough just how friendly this game can be to all types of gamers. Give it a rent if you're on the fence. I really don't see how someone could have ZERO amount of fun with a game like this.

If you're currently playing this game and you love it, then HIGH FIVE to you, because I love it too. I really think Next Level Games did a fantastic job with the game and I can't wait to see what game they get to work on next. I would love a sequel sometime down the road, but I personally hope they get a Donkey Kong game. Speaking of that old gorilla, he plays a bit of a role in this title, but that's spoiler worthy, so I'll shut up.

It's hard to really find the words to describe just how happy I am when I play this game. So, since I can't think of any on my own, I'll take one out of Doc Louis' book. Join the Nintendo Fun...er...Club Nintendo today, Mac!

-Mave