Stalker (1979)

“There are no such thing as facts. Especially here.”

If you have a short attention span and can only watch films with tits, explosions, rapid editing, and loud music, turn away now and go read my review for Tokyo Gore Police instead. This one’s a much different beast, and yet it’s my second favorite movie of all time. Every aspect of this movie resonates with me in a way I can't explain.

Directed by Andrei Tarkovsky, the Russian director responsible for the original Solaris (you may be familiar with the remake that has George Clooney in it), Stalker is a slow, quiet, thought-provoking film released in 1979, based off of a science fiction novel entitled Roadside Picnic.

The story is deliciously simple: Three men, a writer, a professor, and the titular Stalker (who refer to each other by their professions, you never get their real names) head out to a forbidden place called the Zone, in order to find a room where it is said your innermost wish will come true. The theory is that the Zone is a place that was hit with a meteorite, and the town that used to be there was obliterated, so the government roped it off. No one lives there. The only wildlife are birds, which are mostly just heard, rarely seen. Most everyone who was sent in, including the Russian military, never came out. People just disappear.

"My dear, our world is hopelessly boring. Therefore, there can be no telepathy, or apparitions, or flying saucers, nothing like that. The world is ruled by cast-iron laws, and it's insufferably boring. Alas, those laws are never violated. They don't know how to be violated. So don't even hope for a UFO, that would've been too interesting."

It’s also an incredibly beautiful place. The beginning of the movie is filmed in black and white, through a sepia filter, adding to the grit and dirt of the Stalker’s little shack, the rundown bar they meet up in, and the grungy military checkpoints they have to sneak and rush through in order to get into the Zone. 37 minutes in, when they finally reach the Zone, the film goes full color, so you can see it in all it’s splendor. The grass is incredibly tall, with a faint mist in the distance, and rundown old buildings that have been reclaimed by nature over time. The first thing this reminded me of are two of the most beautiful videogames I've ever played: Ico and Shadow of the Colossus. Gorgeous, desolate stretches of land with not a single soul in sight. The Stalker comments that it’s the quietest place in the whole world, and one can certainly agree, as all you hear are the twittering of birds and the beautiful, haunting score of the film. It’s all shot very beautifully, lovingly, with long takes and slow camera work that let you drink in the scenery and the characters.



As beautiful as it is, the Zone is also dangerous. It constantly shifts, mutates, like a labyrinth, and you cannot make a direct path to the room. "How far away is the room?" one of the characters asks the Stalker, who knows his way around, and he responds, "straight ahead, it's about 200 meters, but we cannot go straight." At one point he explains to them that the Zone does not allow good people or evil people to pass through it, only wretched men who have lost all hope. The Zone is treated like a creature, a living place. You never get a sense of just how dangerous it is, and that's probably one of the film's only flaws, but it is beautiful beyond what words can describe. The interiors themselves are amazing, old, ruined, and you just sense that there's...something in it. You know the place is alive, you can feel that it is a character just as much as the three men who are exploring it. There are weird bits too, like a telephone that mysteriously works, in a room that inexplicably has electricity, and a scene where the Zone actually supposedly speaks to Writer.

"You’re not even capable of thinking in abstractions."

Much of the dialogue is very poetic, philosophical. It’s rather dense stuff. Writer talks about how he fears he's losing inspiration, how he thinks of his readers, how men only write when they are in doubt. He’s a cynic and a skeptic, a bit of an ass, but still completely, utterly human. There's a beautiful monologue he delivers, sitting at a well in a huge, cavernous room where the floor is covered completely in sand dunes, after he traverses through a long, dark, terrifying tunnel referred to as the “meat mincer.” All three of the characters have incredibly wonderful, private, moving moments where their emotions and ideals are laid out bare for the viewer to see, and it's heart-wrenching. These are not young, plucky guys in their 20's, all three of them are aged, weathered, beaten men, far from ignorant, but not quite intellectuals. Just as Stalker says, wretched. I think it's something that the Zone brings out in them, that makes it so easy to see right into their hearts and know what their souls are like...



Once it was over, I could only just sit, and think, and breathe. It was amazing. I’ve watched it 3 times since then, finally acquiring a DVD copy as a Christmas gift just the other day, and it still never fails to hypnotize me and leave me thinking and musing. It is admittedly a very long, slow movie (around two and a half hours), where things happen more or less in real time, with long, continuous takes, and admittedly not a whole lot happens outside of the characters traversing the landscape while talking, but that doesn’t in any way diminish the experience.

Really, if you watch it, I mean, actually watch it, and it doesn't do anything to you, if it doesn't make you feel something deep inside of you, make you think, or anything...you are not human…

The film is easily found on Google Video in its entirety (this is how I watched it the first three times), and while it’s a little compressed and the timing with the subtitles is a tad off halfway through the film, it’s still worth it. The DVD has greatly improved audio and visuals, but the print they used wasn’t in the best condition, so there are some vertical lines that are pretty clear in certain shots, colors and lighting will fade in and out, but in all honesty, it does not diminish the experience at all. This is a must-see movie, especially if you consider yourself a bit of a film snob or connoisseur. Sit back, relax, and take it in. This is a true work of art.

[Brett]

Flash: Rebirth (Series Review Thus Far)

I'm currently a student writer for one of the websites at my college. This past semester (which is ALMOST over for me) we had to write a certain amount of blog entries to be featured on the main site. We were free to write about pretty much anything we wanted, so I decided to write a little review of the comic series "Flash: Rebirth" that is ongoing right now and is being written by Geoff Johns.

Keep in mind - this is an article for a college website where I'm trying to explain "comic book logic" to an audience of teachers and other staff at my school, so if it seems weird at parts, you'll have to forgive me.

Anyways, check it out!

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Growing up, I relied on many things to escape the reality around me. I would often get home from school and play a video game for hours, just diving into the experience and taking in all it had to offer. It wasn't that I hated real life around me by any means, but to me, there was so much more that the world had to offer in other forms of entertainment.

I loved playing soccer and being outside with my friends, but if I didn't have things like video games or comics to fall back on, I don't know what I would have done.

The only reason I even say any of this is to explain where I'm coming from. Being 21 years old now and feeling more mature than I ever have in my life, I still love to kick back any time of the day in a comfy chair and just read a good comic book.

One of my favorite super heroes growing up was "The Flash". I'm sure in some way or another you've heard of him -- he was the guy who wore a red outfit with yellow lightning bolts and ran super fast. Well, in current comic book continuity, the Flash is experiencing quite the event. A series known as "The Flash: Rebirth" is taking place withing DC Comics and it's more or less a "reboot" to generate a following in the Flash again by bringing back the comic book character, Barry Allen.

So I'll get you up to speed here :
1. The first person in comics to take the name of Flash was Jay Garrick. He was a guy who wore a metal cap with wings that resembled something that one of the Roman Gods (such as Mercury) may have worn. He could run at super speeds and used his powers to fight crime and do good.
2. The second person to be use the name Flash was Barry Allen. His costume is by far the most popular and is the one you're likely familiar with. Barry was a police scientist who was struck by lightning while working on a case and gained super speed. Like Jay, he used his speed to fight crime and do good and was also friends with other heroes such as the Green Lantern, Superman, Aquaman, and so on. Barry's character was killed off in a massive storyline called "Crisis on Infinite Earths" that happened in 1985.
3. The third person to take up the name of Flash is my favorite, Wally West. Wally was originally Barry's sidekick known as "Kid Flash" and was similar to Robin in the way Robin was Batman's partner. Wally took up the mantle of the Flash after Barry passed on. I was born in 1988, so I grew up reading about Wally West as the Flash.
4. The fourth person to become the Flash is Bart Allen. Bart is actually Barry's grandson from the future (don't ask) and was actually killed while he was using the Flash mantle, yet due to time travel was able to come back from the future AGAIN and has returned as Kid Flash, sidekick to Barry and Wally.

Confused? Don't feel surprised.

Needless to say, the legacy of the hero known as the Flash is quite confusing and not very accessible to the outside world. That is whas the storyline "Flash: Rebith" was designed to solve. A writer for DC known as Geoff Johns had great success by making the Green Lantern series more simplified and accessible to all readers in a series he did called "Green Lantern: Rebirth" a few years ago, so the head decision-makers at DC thought it would be a good idea for him to "fix" the Flash series, if you will.

Basically, Flash: Rebirth is a 6-issue series that would explain how the character Barry Allen has come back to life and how he must deal with living after being dead for so long.

How did Barry come back to life? In a comic book story known as "Final Crisis" that happened in 2008, Barry returned from the future and helped Wally and many others take out a super villain known as Darkseid.

It probably seems very uninviting to the outside world, but to a comic book fan it eventually sinks in.

I actually find the series to have a great concept -- how does someone who has been thought to be dead for SO LONG all of the sudden deal with coming back to life? And someone with SUPER SPEED at that?

Much of the Flash mythology deals with how frustrating it is for someone with super speed to slow down and deal with real life situations, so having to come back to life and deal with others who thought you were dead for so long -- how could anyone handle that?

Thus far, the single issues have been great. As I said before, the writing is done by Geoff Johns and the art is done by Ethan Van Schiver.

_ _ _ _ _ _

5 of the 6 issues have hit store shelves and more or less, this is what has happened.

We know that Barry Allen, as a child, was a good hearted kid who enjoyed reading comics and spending time with his family. He returned home one day to find that his mother had been murdered, and the police conclude that Barry's father is the culprit. Barry grows up knowing that Barry's father is innocent and dedicates his life to proving this. He becomes a police scientist and gets a reputation for always being late and never leaving on time. The whole concept of a schedule could not be farther from his mind.

We see how Barry got his powers, being struck by lightning near chemicals in the police lab, and get a quick run down of the Flash legacy. As of right now, there are actually 4 living humans who go by the Flash name - Jay Garrick, Barry Allen, Wally West, and Bart Allen (with Bart being KID Flash). All of these characters, along with some other "Speedsters" work together to fight crime and basically be superheroes.

A character known as "Professor Zoom" (with his secret identity being Eobard Thawne) is the main villain in the story, and a super villain at that. I could spend pages talking about his backstory, but basically all you need to know is that he is a sick and twisted character with super speed and is bent on ruining the legacy of the Flash.

I hate to spoil the entire series thus far, but we just found out in the last issue that Zoom is the one responsible for murdering Barry's mother. In other words, Professor Zoom actually TRAVELED BACK IN TIME to murder Barry's mother because of how much he hates Barry Allen.

As issue 6 is not yet out, the story isn't done, and things are not looking good for our heroes. Wally West's son seems to have lost his super powers and Barry Allen's wife, Iris, is the next victim of Zoom. The issue ended with a disturbing panel of Zoom saying "As long as I kill Iris, everything will be alright."

I know how overwhelming and boring this must seem to someone who doesn't read comics but I can't stress enough how important this series is for the character of the Flash. I grew up reading about Wally West, but in recent years sales of the series haven't been great. With Barry Allen back, the series has a real chance to be more accessible to new readers and possibly boost the legacy of the Flash onto the level of someone like Superman or Batman.

Issue 6 is slated to come out just a few days before Christmas of 2009, and I'm really looking forward to the last issue. Even more exciting is that next year a new volume of "The Flash" comic series will start and it has all the potential to be the best volume yet.

Rise of The Argonauts

I like Greek mythology. I always have. When I heard that there was a game based around the legend of Jason and the Golden Fleece, I was intrigued. It took me awhile to get around to playing it, however – big name titles like Gears of War 2, Halo 3: ODST and Borderlands have occupied my 360's disk drive for the last several months. I've also taken to revisiting old favorites like Lost Planet, and these combined have maintained a rather complete monopoly on my play time. But Rise of The Argonauts has been on my “to try” list for awhile, and with its used price dropping to $17.99 at Gamestop, this seemed like a pretty good time to try it.

Rise of The Argonauts is, at its core, Mass Effect set to the tune of Greek mythology. When I heard summaries like this used to the describe the title prior to playing it, I wasn't sure how to feel about it.
Most of the elements that made Mass Effect (and other Bioware RPGs, for that matter) noteworthy are here. Exploration of multiple environments, a cast of interchangeable party members (and cutscenes which differ depending on your choice of party), an action based combat system as opposed to a turn based one, and heavy emphasis on a semi-functional conversation simulator as a means of campaign progression.

It seems a simple enough question – did you like Mass Effect? If so, you might like Argonauts. Did you not like Mass Effect? Then leave Argonauts alone. I firmly believe, however, that one would be sorely mistaken if this is the basis by which they decide whether or not to play this game. I will you why.

Rise of The Argonauts is an action-RPG, and there's no denying it. You will explore several dungeons, acquire party members as you progress, fight an ancient evil, save mankind, et cetera so forth, but you will also do so in a bastardized retelling of Greek Mythology. Many familiar names are present – Hercules, Achilles, Argos, Medusa, Perseus, and of course the player's character, Jason. Their stories are not preserved in the most accurate fashion, but we're not here for a history lesson, and only the most steadfastly prude mythology buffs are likely to take offense. Can you fight minotaurs with Achilles and Hercules at your side? Yes. Is it awesome? Yes.



While we're on the subject of battle, the combat system warrants close examination. As I've said, battles are not turn based, but rather action oriented, giving the player direct control over Jason as he cuts, bashes and stabs his way through legions of Ionian mercenaries, Satyrs, Tartarus Fiends, Blacktongue sorcerers, and then some.
You have no control whatsoever over your party members. This is frustrating at times, particularly in situations where enemies must be defeated in a certain place, but Hercules and Pan are insistent upon running into the green ooze which makes the Tartarus Fiends invincible and fighting them there, instead of following your lead and luring them onto dry land where they can actually be killed.
To be fair though, this only happened once. Support characters do their job well, and contribute a great deal to the melee in even the most frantic of combat situations. They score genuine kills, and take the some of heat off of Jason when the fighting gets thick. Each character (Atalanta, Pan, Hercules, and Achilles) has their own unique fighting style and special abilities. They don't level up however, and you can't change their equipment, almost relegating them to an aspect of the scenery, so you probably won't spend too much time in deciding which to take into battle.
As far as what you can control in combat, Jason himself is your sole vehicle. This is where Argonauts really shines, presenting us with a combat system that is both simple and engrossing. Attack combinations are executed through simple button mashing, and pretty much every enemy in the game is defeated in a fashion one would utilize in even the simplest hack 'n slash/beat 'em up title. Different attack and weapon combinations yield different results each time a new button is added to the mix, and with a mace, sword and spear at your fingertips, you'll find no shortage of ways to dispatch your foes. Multi-weapon combos are also present (switching weapons mid-attack for extra damage) and Jason's shield is used for both attack (decapitations, specifically) and defense. You will also gain access to special God Powers as you play, which change the flow of combat in a variety of ways. Argonauts is a gory battlefield, and a fun one at that. Even so, you'll probably find yourself using the same patterns over and over again (I'm particularly fond of the spear thrust followed by a shield decapitation), and the fighting wears thin after an hour or two of play time. If I had to summarize it, I'd say it lies somewhere between God of War and Dynasty Warriors, equal parts intricate and repetitive.
The leveling and stat progression system is heavily streamlined, giving you more time to focus on the quest for the Golden Fleece itself. You'll spend a minimal amount of time managing Jason's stats, a task which is quite simply performed by assigning skill points in the form of your completed sidequests and story missions. As opposed to a skill tree, you are presented with the concept of devoting any given quest to one of Jason's four patron gods (Apollo, Ares, Athena and Hermes). Each god or goddess enhances different aspects of Jason's combat efficiency, meaning that you have to choose whether or not you want to devote Manslayer IV (this is actually the name of a sidequest) to Ares for more attack power, or to Apollo for fast health regeneration. It's not a complicated system, and with a minimal amount of planning, you'll find yourself in control of a fairly badass Jason by the end of your fourth dungeon. The system works well, and plays into an emphasis on a casual gaming as opposed to RPG level-grinding.
Sound, graphics, camera and play controls, save-and-load and their ilk are all competent to well constructed. Autosave is ever present throughout the main quest. Cutscenes are well animated. Technically speaking Rise of The Argonauts is almost watertight, with only a few hiccups to hold it back. The occasional invisible wall (why can't I go BETWEEN the pillars instead of AROUND them?) and camera spasm (it's having a seizure because I took out my sword!) prevent Argonauts from being called structurally sound, but you'll hardly notice. If you're in the mood, you'll probably spend the majority of your time talking to the dozens of NPCs and looking forward to your next fight, as opposed to bemoaning a few annoying glitches.


It almost seems wrong to devote so much attention to a game that borrows so liberally from other titles. The aforementioned examples (God of War, Mass Effect, Dynasty Warriors) are all obvious examples of previous, successful titles that clearly influenced the Argonauts team as this game was created. You can call it a Mass Effect ripoff all you like, but as I plunged through the jungles of Saria and felled foes by the dozen in Mycenae's arena, a thought occurred to me: Rise of The Argonauts is trying most fervently to be its own game. It fails only because of the many games to come before it that did in a revolutionary way what it does so passively. This is not a soulless cash-in, but rather a sort homage. If imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, then Rise of The Argonauts is a love letter.
And besides, if a game based on classic Christian literature can bleed God of War so shamelessly, then I see no reason why Jason and The Argonauts can't take a cue from Captain Shepperd.

PS3 Demo Impressions: Dante's Inferno + Bayonetta

DANTE'S INFERNO: You’ve undoubtedly heard of Dante’s Inferno now. You know, the ultraviolent action game by EA and Visceral Games that butchers a piece of classical literature in the name of swinging a scythe around hacking shit up. The demo was just released for it on the PSN yesterday, and my friend and I took it upon ourselves to download that shit and give it a spin.

I’m going to come right out and admit, on my first play through, I did not enjoy it a whole lot. It’s not that there’s anything wrong with the game, per se. From the moment I took up the controller I knew that the game played almost EXACTLY like God of War. I mean, I knew it, we all knew it, it was fairly obvious that the game was basing itself heavily off of God of War, but once you start playing and seeing everything in action, you realize that it’s…well, it’s TOO MUCH like God of War. I feel weird about it, because if more games were like God of War, there would be fewer shitty games in existence, but at the same time it feels almost like outright plagiarism and, being a fan of God of War myself, I felt kind of dirty. And while I want to judge it on it’s own level as a game, you cannot help but make comparisons unless you yourself have never played the God of War series.

The controls are virtually the same (albeit a wee bit slower since you‘re swinging around a big scythe), the Quick Time Event bits are virtually the same, there’s very little difference between the soundtracks, you gain health and magic through fountains much like how Kratos uses treasure chests, and fuck, even the spirits that come out of destroyed objects and slaughtered enemies used to gain new attacks and abilities are identical with the exception of a color swap. My first time through the demo, I kept thinking, “man, I could just be playing God of War 2 right now and probably be having more fun.”

So is any of this a really bad thing? Not necessarily. Controls are tight, the action is, erm, visceral (ugh), the Crucifix is a nice touch, and the graphics are brain-meltingly spectacular. A lot of time, effort, and money has gone into this game, and it shows very clearly.

What REALLY bothers me, however, are little nagging things concerning the cinematics and a lack of, how do I put this, thrills? which God of War provides. The first time we see Dante in the opening cinematic, he’s sitting by a fire in the middle of the forest, sewing a red fabric cross to his fucking chest. Why? I have no clue. Then we cut to strange-looking 2D animation of the crusades, and then it goes straight into the gameplay. I had no real idea where I was, what was going on, or why I was really killing these people. Then in the most anticlimactic, boring fashion, someone shoves a dagger in Dante’s back, Death shows up, and you two throw down.

Should Death really be that much of a pushover? REALLY? It’s such a dull fight too. Think back to the beginning of God of War: You’re jumping from ship to ship fighting the motherfucking HYDRA. Here, however? You kill a bunch of generic dudes and then have a boss battle against Death, and it just feels like something is not right.

But that’s not just it. Dante, to me, is not an endearing character. We don’t hear him speak much, he’s alarmingly quiet, and the cutscenes are so very convoluted that I have no real idea why things are happening. His motives are clear after he finds Beatrice dead, sure, but before that? I was lost. I just don’t really feel connected to this guy.

But I’ll probably still get the game, just not on day one or anything like that. If only because the shots of Hell that you see at the end of the demo are extremely disturbing and enticing at once, and I want to see that shit, even if I don’t care about the story or characters and even if it feels too damn derivative of God of War.



BAYONETTA: Ah, now here is my favorite of these two demos. Bayonetta has been getting quite a bit of attention. Developed by Platinum Games, the former Clover guys responsible for Madworld on the Wii (which you may recall I reviewed). Much like Dante’s Inferno, this demo fails utterly at letting you know what the fuck the story of this game is about and doesn’t let on much about who the characters are.

However, strangely enough, this time around I don’t really care. Bayonetta herself oozes personality, not just in her off-the-wall design, but in her behavior as well. One of her taunts is, I shit you not, “I have a fever, and the only cure for it is MORE DEAD ANGELS!”

Yes, my friends, you’re playing as a tall, sexy, bespectacled witch with guns on her feet, and the enemies you face are angels. Very vicious and slightly disturbing looking angels, might I add. Why? Who knows, but it beats hacking up a bunch of generic guys with swords, doesn’t it?

I’ve heard this game draw comparisons to Devil May Cry, specifically because this is directed by the same dude, but I’ve never played DMC, so I have no idea how similar they are. I can say, however, that this demo is incredibly fun and stylish. Bayonetta kicks, shoots, and punches (or slices, if you switch to her katana) her way through foes with grace and power as hyperactive Japanese piano-heavy music plays. Get your magic bar filled up and you can do “Torture Attacks” to enemies, which involve fun torture devices. The only two I’ve witnessed are an Iron Maiden which Bayonetta kicks them into, and a guillotine. She’ll actually spank the enemy while they’re in the guillotine until the blade drops.

Yes, it’s all so very over-the-top and wild, super-fast paced, and just all kinds of fun. This is a game with its tongue planted firmly in its cheek. While Dante’s Inferno is trying to be super serious and heavy, Bayonetta is light-hearted colorful. The graphics are beautiful, with all kinds of colors and the enemy designs are just as imaginative and crazy as Bayonetta herself. It’s a hell of a lot more thrilling, too, when a giant angel has grabbed the bridge you’re standing on and is swinging it around as you’re trying to fight the damn thing.

I confess, I had a bias for this from the very beginning. This is a game coming from the makers of some of the best damn action games that no one ever played on the PS2, not to mention Madworld. I can see elements of their former games in this demo alone, the ability to grab enemy’s weapons and use them is almost right out of God Hand and Madworld, as is the fact that you cannot block, only dodge, for example.

I cannot wait for this game to come out next year, yes.

(NOTE: These impressions are from the PS3 demo. I hear the 360 Bayonetta demo is actually a little different)

[Brett]

Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 (Campaign Only)

WAR. UH. WHAT IS IT GOOD FOR? ABSOLUTELY NOTHIN'. SAY IT AGAIN!

Last month, the highly anticipated Call Of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 slammed headfirst onto the shelves, awaiting the grubby hands of the hardcore and casual alike. A new edition of a Call of Duty game typically delivers what fans want, and in this case, much more.

In Infinity Ward’s latest installment of their Call of Duty franchise, you again assume multiple roles, first beginning your violent journey as U.S. Army Ranger Joseph Allen, instructing new recruits how to fire a weapon in Afghanistan. This, and a quick time trial serves as your tutorial and difficulty gauge. After replaying the time trial a few times to freshen up on my first-person shooter skills, I headed off into the campaign under the Normal difficulty setting.

You begin game proper taking an Afghan municipality from a group of terrorists, where you do so well that General Sheppard enlists you into his elite counter-terrorist unit, Task Force 141. Meanwhile, veteran members Gary “Roach” Sanderson and “Soap” MacTavish are retrieving a important piece of tech from a downed satellite. Allen’s first mission, as part of a CIA spec ops assignment, involves becoming one of Russian terrorist Vladimir Makarov’s right hand men.

You, Makarov, and two other of his closest buddies proceed to commit one of the most heinous acts ever put forth in a video game. Armed with automatic rifles, your new friends mow down hundreds of unarmed civilians and TSA agents in a Russian airport. Fortunately, you are only required to keep up with Makarov, not necessarily pull the trigger on the innocents. But as you watch others crawl for their lives, behind benches and coffee counters, and as you listen to the screams of terror you are enabling, you really feel quite the emotional impact of such an event. Once the act of terror as been completed, it’s revealed Makarov knows you are an American and kills you at the scene. The Russian government finds you, believes the U.S. was in support of this massacre, and subsequently launches a full scale invasion upon the East Coast, evading U.S. early detection systems. As Army Ranger Ramirez you trek the streets of the Virginian suburbs and Washington, D.C., battling the invading Russians. As Task Force 141 operative Roach you seek to find Makarov and expose him as the true mastermind behind the Russian airport slayings.

This guy is a douche. Like, biggest-douche-in-the-universe douche.

Never before have I played an action war title that felt so real. Maybe it has been a long time since I played what the industry has had to offer for war games, sticking close to futuristic titles like Halo and Half Life, but there was something peculiar about defending the front line in a shopping plaza of a Taco ToGo (Taco Bell), Burger Town (Burger King) and a sports bar and grill that looked an awful lot like TGI-Fridays. I swear, I felt as if I could have been fighting in front of a Publix, the place of my employment. The missions found out of the country didn’t strike as hard of a chord, but they were still bone shatteringly real, and the fire fights required some amount of tactics, instead of the usual run and gun of aforementioned titles. Maybe I'm just happy I'm not fighting the German's again, and in the 1940s.

Watching the Russian viciously attack the homeland made me actually angry, and I played the game with a vicious emotion. I really wanted to kill the attackers. They violated my territory, and I felt a strong tie to my task of defending what was ours, even though it was all in a virtual world. The same can be said for the task of finding and revealing that bastard Makarov.

The atmosphere and environments were top of the line. Everywhere I went, I was enthralled in the game. Nothing was so jarringly “video game” that it violated my experience. My only gripe would have to be how some of the homes you must venture into are a bit unrealistically spacey and large. My perception might be skewed, but houses, even those owned by the wealthy, aren’t usually like that. There is always an amount of clutter or tight spaces, even if it’s minimal.

The game play is something to behold. There is an even mix of “Holy shit, this is dumb” hard, where there’s a particular wall of enemies that you seem to repeatedly get trampled by, and “TAKE THAT” instances where you enact great moments of kick-assery. The game doesn’t stick to only gunplay, taking brief breaks to let you scale an ice mountain, drive a snow mobile, pilot a speed boat, and more. Some of my favorite sequences were breach and clear opportunities. You and your squad mates bust down the doors of a room, and, in bullet time, take out all the enclosed enemies. Another is using the remote controlled Predator drones, your rocket friends in the sky, to aim and fly into your biggest targets or simply a large foot team of opposing soldiers.

Shooting from the hip, what one typically does in every other first person shooter, is mostly ineffective. Instead, the game prefers you stop, aim, and fire, making for a more realistic war experience. You have to hunker down, in a trench, behind some wood, and strategically take out your foes.

Proper "hunkering down" pose.

The loading screens in-between missions were passive, because the story progressed while you waited, listening in on conversations and tactical strategies of your next task. Also, I was very pleased to see the missions progress without stopping to load the next environment in the middle of them. In game ambiance, and sound effects were brilliant. The score, main theme provided by Hollywood great Hans Zimmer, was incredible. The story, overall, was written quite cohesively and strung the campaign together nicely.

This installment of Infinity Ward’s favorite child was given so much gamer and media hype. I firmly believed it deserved every bit of it.

Oh and I’ve also heard good things about the multiplayer.

Albums I Won't Ever Shut Up About: Of Natural History (Sleepytime Gorilla Museum)

"And let us dream now, the impossible dream of a math professor..."



You know them as: That band I bring up when someone says they listen to "anything but country/rap".

Sounds a bit like: An art-house metal Broadway show about how much human beings suck

Sometimes, you want something different. Sleepytime Gorilla Museum is different. And then some. With an anti-humanist theme, some intensely Satanic and apocalyptic overtones, and an almost schizophrenic musical style that seems not to know whether it wants to be metal, children's rhyme, Broadway musical number or religious hymn, Of Natural History is most definitely not for everyone. Lead vocalists Carla Kihlstedt and Nils Frykdahl each bring their own bizarre and wonderful flavor to the table—Kihlstedt with an almost childishly innocent wailing, Frykdahl alternating between harsh screaming voice and melodramatic Broadway lead. The instrumentation is...varied. The band members craft custom instruments to play on both the studio album and live performances, which creates an interesting experience no matter how you're listening to it ("frontman" Nils Frykdahl playing on a tiny children's piano is something that must be seen (if only on Youtube) to be believed).

It's not as avant-garde as some of the stuff out there (LET'S JUST MAKE A DRONING NOISE FOR THREE HOURS WHILE WEARING MASKS), but it's definitely weird.

Get it if: You're actually looking to broaden your musical palate; you want to freak your parents/grandparents/religious aunt out; you're extremely pretentious.
High Points: "The Donkey-Headed Adversary of Humanity Opens the Discussion", "Bring Back the Apocalypse", "Gunday's Child"

Albums I Won't Ever Shut Up About: The Fall of Math (65daysofstatic)

Sssssssssixty-five...



You know them as: "Playing Gears? Let's plug in my iPod..."
Sounds something like: The soundtrack to the end of the world, as played by ancient robots who secretly lament the fall of humanity

If any band exemplifies the term "post-rock", 65daysofstatic is it. "Post-" not only in terms of evolution but also in terms of feel, The Fall of Math is a discordant, layered masterwork that is a musical accompaniment to Armageddon. It might blow your mind. It is this band and this album that informed me just how broad the musical landscape was out there, and that there was a Promised Land in it for anyone willing to explore its lonely wilds and vast subterranean catacombs. At once rocking, haunting, and beautiful, The Fall of Math makes good use of heavy guitar and electronic samples with a smattering of piano, backed by some of the most insane drum structures you'll hear outside of the IDM genre...all without any distracting or out-of-place vocals. The drums, both live and programmed, really move the music, putting power and urgency into each and every song.Every track, the world is ending. We're losing the fight, or winning it. Something is going on.

Oh, and as you rush to the dropship, remember to reload your assault rifle so the angels guarding the landing zone have some covering fire.

Get it if: You want a soundtrack for Fallout, Gears of War, or Half-Life 2; you like drums but dislike vocals
High Points: "Retreat! Retreat!", "I Swallowed Hard, Like I Understood", "The Fall of Math"

(Note: their second album, One Time for All Time, features "Await Rescue", hands-down one of my favorite songs ever and an exquisite battlesong.)

http://www.65daysofstatic.com/

DJ Hero Review

Put ya hands up, here comes my DJ



I entered into a shaky alliance with dark forces to procure a DJ Hero bundle. I'm sure many of you shared my sentiments earlier in the year when this title was announced by Activision, something of a cross between an exasperated sigh, an incredulous "Really?! Seriously.", and that expression your dog has when he hears your voice coming out of the voicemail machine. I saw this, however, and was immediately sold.

What DJ Hero brings to the table is the charm, fresh gameplay and new method of experiencing music that the first Guitar Hero did. Pressing buttons in response to colored gems flowing down that familiar highway is still a basic staple, but more than enough has changed around that tried-and-true rhythm game mechanic to set it apart from its band-driven cousins.



The real challenge of the game comes in scratching and crossfading. You scratch by holding down a button and moving the "record", sometimes in a specific direction. Scratching feels solid and, I can only assume, fairly realistic (in the same way that holding a plastic guitar and strumming feels realistic). Crossfading is somewhat difficult to grasp at first. Using your other hand, you flick the crossfader to switch between the left track, both tracks combined, and the right track. There's also an "effects dial" that distorts certain portions of the song and doubles your multiplier, and also selects between sound clips that can be triggered during red "freestyle zones". Once you get the hang of it, it's every bit as fun as playing Guitar Hero or Rock Band—that is, if you enjoy the music.

What Freestyle Games have done musically in this title is nothing short of astounding. Nearly every song in the game is a mashup between two songs, oftentimes from completely different genres. Artists as varied as 2Pac, David Bowie, Rihanna, Beck, Marvin Gaye and Paul van Dyk contribute songs, some of which are mixed by some of the biggest names on the DJ scene, including DJ Shadow, DJ Z-Trip, and the late DJ AM. Grandmaster Flash and DJ Jazzy Jeff are also present, bringing some old-school flair to the proceedings. But even though there are more famous turntablists represented than you can shake a needle at, it never feels forced, especially with special setlists presented by all the real DJs in the game. The fictional characters are also some of the most interesting seen in a music game (Cleetus Cuts alone deserves his own adventure).



It's a solid setup, but not without its shortcomings. The weight of the turntable controller combined with a lack of stability in most scenarios makes it difficult to perform certain scratch patterns, especially on the faster scratch-centric tracks. The buttons, too, suffer from some inaccuracy at higher levels of play, where one has to press buttons almost ludicrously fast. Really, though, it is only during these few songs that you will feel as though the controller is working against you. Another minor complaint is that though the title boasts over one hundred mixes, there aren't enough unique songs. While many songs are in fact sampled multiple times—"Disturbia" by Rihanna and Gwen Stefani's "Hollaback Girl" each appearing in no less than three separate mixes—the fact remains that the overwhelming majority of the music is excellent.

The game does feature a few multiplayer modes, including play over Xbox Live. The mode that I'm sure many followers of the game have been itching to try out—where another player straps on a Guitar Hero controller to accompany the DJ—is solid, if a little flat. The only issue here is that the guitar songs are far too repetitive to be any real fun, and my cohort and I have yet to return to it. DJ vs. DJ was not reviewed, as I hate other people and have chosen Xbox Live Silver as my self-imposed exile, and also neither one of us has another turntable controller. A final mode, while not multiplayer, allows you to set the game to play itself, basically becoming your own personal VJ. With the great background presentation that's actually fun to watch even when you're not playing and the option to jump in at any moment, it's a great mode for parties (so long as no one spills Jack and Coke on your precious turntable).



Having said all of this, I know those of you considering a purchase are still worried about the clincher: the $120 price tag. While I absolutely love the game, I have to say that for a brand-new franchise Activision is trying to launch with the shortcomings it presents, it's too much. Not grossly so, but I think perhaps ninety would have been sufficient (as that's what Guitar Hero II for the 360 cost at launch). One could argue that Activision is cautious about the profit margin and figures if less people buy it they may as well get a bigger cut from those who do, but if someone with no desire to buy it in the first place sees the price, I think it might deter potential new attachers, especially since so few retailers have a demo station set up.

In short, the game is a great first entry in a new franchise which represents a new direction for Activision's massively popular music game/peripheral market. Though a bit pricey, the bundle is a lot of fun so long as you dig the music.